If Only

Fifteen

Charlotte Bartlett

I felt sleepy as I slowly woke up. I turn to my side and reach my hand out to feel a coldness. Opening my eyes the other side of the bed is empty and a weird feeling hits my chest.

The bubbling up in my stomach begins and the wave of nausea hits me as I'm up on my feet. My knees soon hit the bathroom tile as I hold my hair up as the bile leaves my throat.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I struggled to get it out. Graces contact flashes against the screen leaving a text if I'm around for breakfast. I could use some company now.

I found my hoodie and slipped on my leggings. If anything this now felt like a walk of shame and when I went downstairs to find the place empty I felt even worse. There were no text or note from him.

"Hello?" I shout out as my voice echos, no response. I find myself at the elevator pressing the button.

"You're leaving?" He asked behind me sounding confused.

"I mean... I guess so," I mumble not turning.

"Alright, fine, go then," his tone was now harsher than before and I could feel my eyes give. He sounded so cold.

"Did I do something?" I ask staring down at the floor.

"No, just go," I couldn't understand why he was being such an ass and as the doors opened I quickly stepped inside. With him one minute he was roses and the next he was thorns. It was the reminder that I am simply the woman carrying his child and a stranger.

His eyes meet mine as the doors begin to shut.

"Charlotte!" His voice lingers with regret as the tears cascaded down my eyes. I close them trying to take a deep breath. 

I find myself rushing to the lobby frantically trying to get out of here. I call for an Uber and wait anxious and impatient outside.

The car pulled up and stopped as I reached for the handle, "Charlotte!" His voice trails behind me. I needed to be alone and to get away, so I quickly get in and slam the door shut.

"Drive please," The car pulls off before he can get to me and I settle back into the seat.

———————————————

The Uber stops outside my building and I quickly made my way inside. I quickly found myself outside my apartment and once I got in I rushed into my room.

Stripping out of my clothes I changed into a black sweater and jeans. I didn't fix up myself much and I didn't feel like attempting to look put together for breakfast.

I made my way to SaraBeth's through the subway and quickly made my way through Central Park. Slipping on my sunglasses I make my way across the street and inside

"Do you have a reservation?" The hostess asks.

"I'm looking for a Grace Wright," She scans the tables and then nods asking me to follow.

"You look like a spy coming to meet me," Grace teased but as I removed my sunglasses she grimaced.

"Oh dear, what happened Char?" Her voice was now solemn and as the tears began to flow I just shrugged.

"One second he's all over me and flirty and the next he shuts me out and he's cold and mad," I mutter, "it's just a reminder that this is a dynastic plan, besides the baby."

"Aw babe, what exactly happened?" A waitress interrupts before I could speak asking for our orders.

"I'll have an ice tea and she'll have a water," Grace opens her menu and the waitress quickly walked off.