If Only

Fourty Nine

Nate Crawford

She laid in the bed, IV dug into her wrist and oxygen through her nose. The sound of monitors surrounding as they all laid by her bedside

It had been five days. She hadn't woken up, she hadn't moved much or even stirred. Just in the same sleep she fell into in the cell

Emma wasn't there, she hadn't been there since. Belle still wasn't in full belief of the truth. She didn't know how to comprehend after such a loss and grief that she processed. For the person to be alive the whole time, she didn't want a conversation nor an explanation. She didn't speak to anyone but Jillian.

"How are we gonna tell him" I looked to Celine as she spoke as we sat on the felted brown couch in Charlottes room like we did each day

"We don't Celine, not until we come up with a full plan" Teddy had asked where his father was in which Celine excused herself while Will stayed with him, he didn't leave Teddys side at all

He shared a room with Jillian, recovering from wounds and dehydration. He asked about his father and his Aunt Charlie, in which we didn't have answers to and didn't want to answer

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this pain" he shifted his eyes back to her from the ground "your my son Nathaniel, blood or not you know that I care about you. I care about Charlotte and my grandchild, i see the pain your facing. I won't neglect and ignore that, but I won't let you blame yourself" she took my hand squeezing it

"Look I know your father always outcasted you, but you've always been my son equally. Just a bit more troubled than the others, but your my baby boy and have been since I set my eyes on you" she pulled her hair back and stood up

"I say we go get something to eat, not hospital food and some fresh clothes" she looked over to Belle next to Charlotte "you are welcome to join dear"

"I don't want her to wake up when we are gone and be alone" I said staring at her in the bed

"She won't be" she gestured to Leo on his phone in the corner "see she'll wake up to my now most troubled son" he looked up

"Not troubled mama, just comical!" He shrugged

"I beg to differ" he scoffed at me sinking into his seat further

"Trust me if Charlie wakes up I'll send you a text immediately" Belle stood sighing

"I'm going to go shower and get some fresh clothes on, maybe eat something. I definitely smell gross and feel stuffy" she sighed looking over at us "but thank you for the offer"

She grabbed her tote leaving the room excusing herself. Celine stood and I walked over to the edge of the bed leaning over it to look at her. I felt my emotions consuming me once again

You never realize that you can't really live without someone until you almost lose them. I can't live without Charlotte my Tesoro, the only woman who's ever meant anything to me

"come on, let's go"

I nodded following her out the door to exit the hospital. I hadn't left her room since we got here after she was transferred back to the city. I didn't even know what the hospital halls looked like since we were able to go see her. I hadn't left