𝕄𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤? [ʙᴏᴏᴋ 1]

༄ Regulus༄

"So, we've been thinking of ways for you to get out of that shit hole." Sirius begins thoughtfully having got Regulus to explain about the cut on his eyebrow.

Regulus shakes his head and leans against the tree. "You've tried before, I can't just leave."

James opens his hands, annoyed. "Mum's offered you a bed so many times!"

Regulus sighs. "I can't just come and live with you..."

"I did," Sirius says shortly.

"But that's... different..."

"How is that different!?" James says loudly.

Sirius looks at James. "James, let me speak," he says then turns back to Regulus. "Look, just come to the Potter's. You can't stay at Grimmauld Place, it will end you and you know it."

Regulus nods and rocks his head back on the tree. "I'll get through it. I'm all they have-"

"Fuck that!" Sirius almost shouts.

Regulus looks around but everyone's so used to Sirius' loud profanities by now, no one bats an eyelid.

"Look," Regulus says sternly. "I can't just move in with the Potters, I can't just leave home like that. They... they'll..." he trails off.

"They'll what...?" Sirius says quietly this time, moving closer to his brother with serious eyes.

"You know what they're like," Regulus mutters.

"Are they hurting you worse?"

Regulus nods and bites the inside of his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Sirius' voice is a whisper now. "I should never have left you."

"S'not your fault," Regulus says in a small voice. "I can't leave Sirius..."

"But you ca-"

"I CAN'T!" He snaps.

Sirius sits back, shocked at the sudden outburst and people nearby look at them this time.

James glares at them. "What're you staring at?"

They quickly look away, scared of getting on the wrong side of the three muscly quidditch players. James sits back, pleased at his power.

"Why can't you leave?" Sirius resumes the conversation calmly.

"They... put something on me... like..." he trails off again. Suddenly he feels Danica's lips on his if only for a moment it happened, the gentle brush was enough for the constant memory.

"What Reg...?" Sirius reaches out and places his hand on Regulus' shoulder. He relaxes slightly at the brotherly love and swallows, taking the time to figure out his thoughts.

"It must have been... an unforgivable... you know... I can't get out," he says slowly.

Sirius just stares at him. "So they only let you come to school?" He asks after some time.

Regulus nods. "If I wanna get out during the holidays... I just... can't."

Sirius frowns and pulls him into a hug.

"Surely we can break it?" James says with hope in his voice.

Sirius pulls away and shakes his head. "It's an unforgivable James." He says shortly.

James nods and bites his cheek.

Yeah, Regulus thinks, you've not had that put on you before, have you.

Sirius looks at him. "We'll have to have a think."

Regulus nods and looks out over the lake and sees Danica walking away quickly. Then Remus comes up behind him.

"Hi," Remus says and sits behind Sirius, wrapping his arms around him.

"Is Danica okay?" Regulus asks him.

Remus shrugs but gives him a knowing look and Regulus' stomach drops.

"What's up...?" Sirius says, looking between them, reading both boys like books.

Remus raises an eyebrow. "Why don't you tell him, Regulus?"

He takes a breath. "I accidentally kissed her."

Sirius sits up again, his mouth open in surprise. "You kissed your best friend!?"

This time people look when Sirius speaks but Remus stares them down, making himself as big and as menacing as possible even though he is holding Sirius tight. They quickly turn around and a few of them leave this time.

"Yeah," Regulus continues after the second interruption, "she's my best friend, I shouldn't have kissed my best friend."

Remus sighs and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Regulus says and stands up, running a hand through his hair. "I know she's like your sister Remus and I'm sorry I treated her like that."

Remus starts saying something but Regulus doesn't listen and he walks off around the lake and to the quidditch stands.

He goes up and just stares blankly at the stadium. How did he get to this?

He runs a finger absentmindedly over a scar on his wrist. His father did that to him last summer. That was when he was told he wasn't to go home until the following July. He didn't mind of course but all summer he'd been trying to escape. Sirius should have taken him with him. He wishes he could have gone with Sirius.

He finds his mind wandering to Danica. Her lips. Her skin. Her eyes. Her smile.

He shakes himself. Why did he do it? She doesn't like him back!

Idiot-

He huffs and stands up and realizes the sun is setting. It is summer and he only has a month left at school. One month until he faces hell.

And now his best friend is mad at him. The only one who can get him through those weeks isn't even talking to him.

One fucking kiss.

He frowns and wanders back to his dorm, skipping dinner and lays in the darkness of his four-poster bed.

He is alone with only his thoughts. Silently he cries into his pillow, not wanting to face the next months alone.

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