broken inside

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Kookie entred his room.... he heard everything... that his .. papa talk to that man ... kookie is a little grownup... he know.. what his appa ... tell ...he understand most of it .... his papa ... said... he give birth to him in streets .. tears can't hold back from that doe eyes.... how can his papa .. go through each and every pain... with no one beside.... he much be ....will feel very ... lonely. knowing this much... he hate .... that man... he dont deserve... to be his appa... the man who allow...his papa go through hell... yes his papa was right he deserve to die ....

Jungkook drink a last shot of visky ... he want to calm his mind .... he stand ... and go to his cupboard open a drayer where his meds are ... he take his daily meds... and gulped to one go... he looked side only to see a small drayer in his cupboard... he .. opened it long ago ...when he last come to Korea... for some business...he close the drayer with something inside... just to move on ... move on from his past ... but now also he cant .... he open drayer with a key ... there is a book inside .... he dont want to open it .... but his hearts telling something else...

Taehyung looked at the doctor in front of him and shouted ... what... he want a operation... v sighn and frustratedly left the room leaving a dumbfolded doctor behind ... taehyung who follow him.... taehyung shouted... what the fuck you thinking... can't you see I was talking to her .... v stop looked at his twin teary eyes ... taehyung again shouted... why can't you do the operation.... v say with tear full eyes ..and said... he was right .... I deserve to die .... taehyung cursed .... fuck...he doesn't mean it it comes out from his ... mouth because of frustration... and you gonna ...keep in your heart and stressed out the whole life... this time v can't hold it ... he give up on his ... body ... sit to a chair... with a body with out soul... he cried .. my baby... baby ...gonna hate me... I see how hatredly he looked at me ... when he know the truth ....

Taehyung wiped his tears ... he have to strong for ..his... . twin brother ... he was going through lot now... taehyung sit near his twin ... wipe his twins tears ... and said... so you wanna die because your son and husband hate you ... what about me... huh... I born with you ... I live with you ... I am your twin ... Iam nothing without you ... if you gone..... how ..I... can live with out ...you... i also regretting... leaving bunny in the streets ...that guilt was eating ...me.. I should help him but I also believed that he betrayed us... he caresses his brothers hand who hiccuping now and said... you have to live.. atleast to get forgiveness from your son and husband....

Jeongguk looked at the twin brothers who was in each others arms comforting each other... as a older twin .. he should help his bunny .. but what did he do... leaving him in streets... he get everything... in.. this world... love from his appa... love from ... his husband... everything...but what about his brother .. he can't even imagine ...going through labor pain..without anyone beside.. there his twin ... give birth in dirty dark street with no one beside.. there he give birth to the luxurious hospital bed with his husband beside...who was whispering smooth and lovely words to ease his pain... how can his brother go through everything...alone ... a warm tear left from his eyes ... how could he do this all to his twin ...

Jungkook opened the book .. the book looks like a years of age .. he caressed the first page where he and taehyung happily sleeping ... and posing ...

how he wish to go to that time.. where he and his bestfriend made so many memories ...with each..other.. gossiping ...about everyone... changing each other secrets... how he miss the rolling eyes of his bestfriend... he wish .. his bestfriend help him when he need the most .... he wish his one and only best friend believe him other than giving consideration to his twin life ... he wiped the tears coming from his eyes ...and flip another page ... he caressed the page a small smile appear on his lips ...

He caressed it slowly .... it was a old pic where a two 8 or 7 years old twin boys .... one was kissing and other was resisting... the resisting.. one was jungkook...how he being annoyed...when his older twin always kiss his cheeks back then .... but after that he wish ... that kiss once again...that he never get from his twin...after that ... he wish ... his twin annoyed him again... just like before ... how his older twin love him...that he never leaves the side of the younger ...clingy as always...... once and how it changes in to hate... if he turn back the Time and go back to the time where he ask his mom for a icecream ... he would never ask for a icecream...then ... he will engulfed his mom in his arms and never let her go anywhere ... he harsly wiped the tears again ... and flipped the page again ... where he and his twin with his appa... the both of them were kissing ... his cheeks and annoy ... him the hell out ... the both are same ... his twin and his appa.... are the same clingy as always .... again a smile appeared remembering the beutifull days ... that he wish the day come again...

He flipped the last page ... his heart flipped a bit ... the tears that he can't hold can't anymore....

How he wish to take a photo . His husband holding him... how he wish a family photo that he and baby and his husband who engulfed them in his chest ... everything is a dream... crushing and loving him is the biggest mistake ..he do... being selfish and married him is the another mistake he do... he wish to .. clear the mistake..
He wish he never fall in love with this man... who makes him weak... how much he wish ... that he can hate him ... but ... how can he still love this man .... who makes him go through everything...
He closed the book keep it in the drayer... every past memories... that he wish to forget ... comes to his mind .. each and everyday ...