lonely sounds | l. heeseung

29. how to find success

There was only silence as the audience looked at Eun byul and she could feel the heat of the spotlights. She inhaled and exhaled deeply and moved her bow powerfully over the strings. The first impression of her playing had everyone captivated, wanting to hear more. It had been so long since Eun byul entered a competition. The longer she was on that stage the more she felt guilty for having some enjoyment in playing. Her long melodious strokes illuminated the room with a sound she was familiar with. Her guilt made the music sound empty as if a critical element was missing. There was no love or happiness she felt while playing. Yet ironically, she was confident once more. It was something Heeseung hadn't seen in time. It was like how she played years ago: with perfection, but with lonely sounds.

"Yeseo, I'm sorry for betraying you like this," Eun byul thought as she continued to play, transitioning to Op. 1 MS: 25 No. 2 in B Minor, "I'm sure you agree that I don't deserve to be happy again, but I hope you'll forgive me. I'll pray for your heart and my heart to soften. I pray that we will be able to live in peace despite you not being here. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. And I know my punishment was to never play, but I want to honor and celebrate you for being the person you are. Yeseo, my life will never be the same without you and what you lived through. I regret every action and word I expressed to you. So please, accept my music as my apology."

Eun byul managed to finish Op. 1 MS 25: No. 22 in F Major with the sound of perfection to the ears of the audience. However, Eun byul knew she didn't play to her best ability despite what everyone else thought. She knew she could've done better, but she wasn't sure of what was missing. She knew the judges would be harsh with the scoring as well. She risked it all with the pieces she played for prelims.

Eun Byul breathed heavily as beads of sweat dripped down her face from the heat of the spotlight. The audience roared with cheers and applause. After taking a deep bow, she walked off the stage and saw Heeseung waiting for her. He had a bright smile on his face.

"Eun byul," he beamed with excitement, hugging her, "That was amazing! I haven't heard you play like this in years. Your accuracy was unthinkable and your transitions were so clever. It was so smooth, but you could tell how distinct the composers are. You're amazing."

She gave him a sad smile, unsatisfied with her performance. "Heeseung, if we're going to win this then we have a lot of work to do. I'm expecting my score to be pretty low. My tempo was a bit off in the beginning and the expression I portrayed was mediocre. We're going to have to work on that."

Heeseung gave her a smile, proud of her willingness. "We're going to get it next round. I know for a fact that this will be the best performance of our years of playing."

Leaving backstage, she and Heeseung made it back to the dressing room. Eun byul changed back into her simple clothes: a pair of jeans, a grey hoodie, white canvas sneakers, and a white baseball cap. Together, they went back into the theatre to see the rest of the performances.

"Nest up, contestant 45, Cha Eunmi," the announcer exclaimed over the loudspeaker.

Eun byul leaned back into the seat, crossing her legs, as she saw her older sister strut across the stage. She was wearing a satin crimson gown with her hair tied into a neat low bun. Confidently, she stood in the center of the stage, radiating fiery energy full of vigor.

The audience's applause died down as Eunmi stood in silence, soaking up the attention. She placed her violin in ready position and began after a slight pause. The sounds of her playing were filled with anger and passion. Eun byul could hear the long-awaited revenge Eunmi was plotting. Her older sister was ready to win the competition and there was no stopping her. After all the years of losing to Eun byul at international competitions, it was Eunmi's turn to win. That was all she worked for. It was as if there was a ring of fire that surrounded Eunmi. She played so well, it was on a different level of professionalism. Out of all the contestants that played, Eun byul herself acknowledged that Eunmi's performance was the best. Hearing Eunmi's performance in comparison to Eun byul's made Eun byul's performance seem like unprepared foolishness. That's how perfectly Eunmi played.

"Your sister is incredible," Heeseung whispered in Eun byul's ear as the sounds of Eunmi's violin echoed throughout the concert hall.

"You're not wrong," Eun byul muttered, "She's definitely getting high marks for her expression."

When her bow left the strings, Eunmi stood on the stage, panting as sweat dripped profusely down the sides of her face. She was so confident in her playing it practically ensured that she got the highest score for the preliminary round. The audience had the loudest roar of excitement for Eunmi as she left the stage with the best standing impression. After Eunmi's performance, there was no other violinist that could play as well as she did. She was incomparable.

Hours later, the preliminary round of the competition was finished. Contestants gathered in the main lobby to see the overall scores of their performances. The tensions in the lobby were still frigid as everyone's competitive mode didn't turn off. There were 200 contestants for the preliminary round and only the top 25 would make the cut.

"Heeseung, do you see my name?" she asked him as they began walking to the bulletin board.

"No, but I think you can squeeze through the crowd to see your placement. I know you played well enough to make it in the top 25. Also, for this competition, they'll show the total score of your performance and then email your full score in detail with your mistakes."

Abiding by Heeseung's words, she managed to shove her way into the front of the crowd surrounding the bulletin board. And there, she saw her name Cha Eun byul in 23rd place with a total score of 85.

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Preliminary Round Scores
1. Cha Eunmi - 99
2. Kang Taehyun - 97
3. Park Jung Hwan - 97
4. Min Hyunsoo - 96
5. Lee Sumin - 95
6. Song Changmin - 93
7. Kim Sanha - 92
8. Cho Minah - 91
9. Park Minsoo - 91
10. Kim Yeawon - 90
11. Huening Kai - 90
12. Kim Sunoo - 89
13. Oh Hana - 89
14. Shin Miyoung - 88
15. Oh Seulgi - 88
16. Lee Sora - 88
17. Jung Hansol - 87
18. Noh Jeongin - 87
19. Lee Jong Soo - 87
20. Ji Sihyun - 86
21. Park Dongmin - 86
22. Bae Sunwoo - 86
23. Cha Eun byul - 85
24. Go Jihyun - 85
25. Ahn Eun soo - 85