𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 - CARLISLE CULLEN

SEVEN

"r u'kay?"  I asked Bella quietly.  She nodded her head but her expression made me doubt it.

She really thought about how someone judged her, now she has confidence issues thank you, now I'm sure she will have a hard time adapting.  "Edward uh maybe just not used to new people and someone's opinion sometimes shouldn't be heard."  See who so easily said those words.

My stomach feels like it's spinning, how can I anxiously say that?

No problem right?  Besides, I always try to ignore other people's opinions.

although well, sometimes it doesn't work.

Bella ignored what I was saying and rushed quickly past the Cullens' car with Edward looking distressed.

I stole a slight glance at them and caught Emmett smiling cutely waving at me.  It's not part of the plot.

I only smiled faintly before quickly following Bella into the truck.

I sat there replaying today's events before mentally screaming.  For the sake of fate what happened to the Cullen family?!  They are supposed to be anti-social with cold behavior.

I tried to obviously ignore it.  While checking my bag if I left any candy in it.

"We're going to the convenience store."  she said.  She didn't dare to look me in the face.  It's like she doesn't want me to worry because she looks like she's about to cry.

Stupid Edward, why couldn't he be nicer?!

"Fine. Will I be able to drive when I get back?"  I asked.

"No, you won't touch the steering wheel of this truck as long as I can."

"But wouldn't it be better for me to drive this time? I'll be careful."  I said reassuring her.

She looked hesitant before nodding.  On the way I just looked around quietly, my life here was the complete opposite of my previous life.  But still there is a gap where I sink back into those torturous memories.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, my mom assumed it was just the result of that horrible accident.  But actually no... I've never trusted anyone with my past story to anyone other than Bella and the doctor who was in charge of me in Phoenix.

But the doctor left a few months ago.

In Phoenix I had several panic attacks and in the end I bought an inhaler to relieve them, thanks to Stiles for the idea.

In Forks where the main characters of this novel felt like I was having a small heart attack.  Imagine them talking to me, I never imagined it would happen before.  Never...

I still feel like I'm at the same point when I was still a loser begging to be loved by her parents.  Even without begging Charlie and Reneé will always love me like Bella.

But maybe I will soon be forgotten.

They would find their respective partners, Reneé had found them, Bella was on her way and Charlie would be too.

This has always been my fear, yes half of me already knew this would happen, but I choose to stay here and try to stop pushing people away just because of my trauma.  After all, I had prepared myself to live independently.  The past will not decide what will happen to us in the future.  I try to be better every day.

"It looks bigger than I imagined."  I said looking at the shop in front.  I seem to have forgotten the scene around here because I don't remember any of it.

Bella gave me a piece of paper we wrote down the groceries we would buy.  I didn't forget to add a few things to it either.  I'm sure dad would be more than happy to be the taster for the recipe I'm about to test.

"Fine you buy this and I get this. We'll meet here when we're done okay?"  I'll leave her alone before she screams a little.

"Please call me if you get lost!"

I wanted so badly to turn around and shut her mouth.  But considering what has happened the last few years I'm fine.  After all people have labeled me a 'girl with memory problems'

I circled around this store before finally getting to the last list of items I had to buy.

Cereals.

I walked over to the shelves full of tantalizing cereals.  My eyes reach for one of my favorite cereals.  Before I could reach him with my hand someone preceded me.

"Uh."  I turned my face to the side to see who could take the last stock of my favorite cereal and I didn't expect to meet this man.

"Oh hi. How are you?"

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Hello sorry for late update, I was sick and have some bad time so yeah.
Umm I'm sure there's some bad grammar so yeah I'm not native and I don't really fluent.