Currently me and Tabitha were sitting in the pool at our place. With it being so hot this was the first place we thought to go. Tab wanted to take pics of me in my outfit. I told her not to post them on Instagram and instead she sent them to shadow. That didn't make it any better. He put heart eyes and everything. Dude basically said he would tear my kitty up.
That alone lowkey had me hot bothered. I tried to unsend but it was too late. He had saved the pictures already. I had become his Home Screen. I felt so embarrassed and Tabitha thought it was cute. I apologized and told him they were not meant to be sent. He didn't care at all. He said his home screen is staying.
He might think I'm a hoe or something. That's not what I want or need right now. I could feel me starting over think and I need to just calm down. This type of stuff would give me an anxiety attack.
"Tab why would you send that to him? I'm embarrassed."
"Girl stop acting like you don't wanna send your man pictures."
"That's not my man."
"For the past three months you both have been on FaceTime every night and morning. He calls you during work. Yall done hung out quite a few several times and don't think I didn't hear him helping you through an orgasm that night over the phone. That is your man."
"That was one time and I was drunk off wine that night."
"Girl you was more than drunk. Showed him that pum pum had him drooling."
I covered my face blushing. I was so wet that night and talking freaky to him. I was not myself that night. It was a total mistake that will never happen again.
"Listen he is just a friend and that was a mistake that will not and I mean will not ever happen again." I said making an X with my arms like the emoji
"Yea whatever. When is he coming back over here to "chill"? She said making air quotes in chill
"The air quotes wasn't necessary crazy girl. And you tell me since they gone and are always joined at the hip when Chris ain't with you."
"If yall two stop playing and actually be together, yall could be joined at hip or the genitals. Which ever works."
I checked my messages to see his reply and when i tell you I almost squirted in this pool. I shouldn't even be thinking like this but he just does something to me. I told myself i would keep it platonic. It's been good so far but I have my moments where I wanna fuck him into the sunset. I literally have to keep my composure.
"No. Me and shadow are strictly friends. Besides we don't even see each other like that. I told you I'm not ready to be with anyone right now. I still have to get myself together before I can put a man in my life."
"You say this every time . Riri it won't hurt you to let a man in your life. I mean shadow could be that man and he seems to have taken a big interest in you."
"Girl he still got hoes he dealing with. I don't want no man who can't let his hoes go. Plus he look like he got commitment issues."
"Whatever you say girl. So Chris's friend michael is having a pool party next week and I figure we should go. I know you're still skeptical about going out and you don't have to go if you don't want. I just think it'll be good for you to step out and try to deal with controlling your anxiety. You did great at the cookout."
"I only was able to control it there because shadow was there saving me from having several attacks. I can't have him save me every time that something happens. I just want to be able to walk amongst people and not get anxious or have an attack for every little thing."
"That's why you're going to therapy. When is your next appointment?"
"I have one tomorrow and one Friday."
"Would you mind if I came with you?"
"I don't mind at all. Can you bring Chris with you. You two have been the only support I had these past few years dealing with this."
"Sounds like a plan. Now let's see what the boys are up to." I rolled my eyes at her
"You are only FaceTiming them so shadow can see what I have on. You know I'm shy tab and you wanna show me off to a guy I'm not even dealing with."
"Girl you can deny all you want but we both know you like his ass and if he was here right now he would be all over you."
——————————-
SHADOW
Chris had got a FaceTime from Tabitha and it looked like they were still in the pool. As much as I wanted to keep all of my attention on Ariana I still had business to handle. I have to fly out in a few days to meet up with a client since he can't leave the state of Georgia due to him being on house arrest.
I told him I knew people who could take care of his house arrest bracelet but he didn't wanna chance it. The last time he tampered with it the police swarmed his house in 10 minutes. He damn near almost got sent back. I still don't know how they expect him to take a bath with that thing on. I know it can't be water proof.
Giving his situation it seems that he is careless with things and problems so he's paying me to handle it. Now me personally, I've learned to stay hidden under federal radar and shit. My carbon foot print is non existent even as my regular self it's none existent. The first thing I learned was the tape under the shoe trick.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear chris call my name till he snapped his fingers in my face.
"What nigga." I said agitated
"I called your name ten times and you said nothing. You looked like a robot who power button was turned off. Pay attention nigga."
"What do you need?"
"I'm headed to tab and Ari's place. You coming out you staying here?"
"I can't. I got some more shit to handle but if I'm done in time I'll head that way."
Chris left and I went to my office to finish up on the paperwork I had. I called Kim to come in here so we can go over everything. I need to hire security for when I go to certain places. Even though I can go alone it's mostly for protection around me. I can't afford for anyone around me to get shot. I can take a bullet because it'll go through me with no casualty but I have to make sure others are safe.
———
Like, comment, and follow. Thoughts and views are always appreciated
