Troubled Minds | Quil Ateara [2]

trois

She tried to stay home. She couldn't bring herself to face them after they had experienced something like that. She couldn't bring herself to face her best friend after openly showing her fear of him.

When Andy arrived to school and saw that none of the Cullen's were present, she thought it was strange, and when they weren't present again the day after she grew worried. She spent the days glancing to her phone or looking over her shoulder to see if they wee going to show. They never did.

Edward was the only one she had seen and she thought something was off about him. He was making her sad. She felt self-destructive around him.

Andy had always prided herself on being smart, she had even managed to be put ahead two grades. She felt like she should have seen this coming, seen the signs or felt the empty space of where they should have been.

Edward had been there when the Swan girls arrived home. He led Bella towards the woods, while Andy went straight inside. She was planning on tracker down her friends, Edwards cryptic answers on their whereabouts didn't suffice to her.

She never expected to see Jasper standing in her living room. Andy felt her heart falter in sock, then pick up in relief and glee. She was lonely without them, she felt lost.

"Jas," she breathed. A small smile grew on her face. "Where have you been?"

"Andy," his voice and actions were cautions, as if afraid to frighten her again. "I'm sorry for what happened at the party. For frightening you, for" -his jaw clenched- "for hurting you."

She felt her smile falter. "Jasper, it's fine. I understand. I forgive you."

"I don't think I can forgive myself, trust myself." He gave her a steely look.

"It was an accident, I trust you." Andy felt her heart constrict at the self-loathing he was feeling. Something was wrong, she knew it.

"It's too late to fix this, Andy."

Andy stilled. "What are you talking about?"

"We're leaving, my family." He looked at her calmly, attempting to help her deal with the news by influencing her emotions.

"Leaving?" Andy manage to choke out. "Why?"

Jasper felt like he couldn't look at her. He cared about her like she was a sister, a daughter even and hurting her like this was awful.

"Carlisle is supposed to look ten years older than he actuallyThe real reason," Andy cut him off. She leaned against the door for support.

"Your sister." His voice was tense. "Edward doesn't want her anymore."

Andy hit the floor softly, her knees giving out. None of this made sense, she didn't want any of it to make sense. The world was spinning around her, it became hard to catch her breath.

"He's going to leave her?" The pain she was feeling made her voice thick. "He can't, It'll break her. You guys can't just leave."

Sobs broke through her chest. Curling in on herself she cried softly, not caring that Jasper watched her.

"You're not coming- I'm never going to see you again, am I?" she stammered. Her head pounding from crying.

Jasper came towards her slowly, kneeling down beside her. "You'll be okay," he whispered.

"I don't know how to be okay," she whispered between sobs. "I don't want you to go."

He held her softly until he heard Edward approaching. He knew it was time to leave.

"Andy," he started softly

"Just go," her voice was hoarse. "I'll see you again one day, the both of you. Just know that'll I'll never forgive you, either of you."

Andy refused to look at him, instead she buried her head into her knees and cried. "Alice didn't even come to say goodbye."

Jasper turned away, and left. He kept repeating to himself that she would be okay.

***

Andy didn't know how long she sat their trying to hold herself together but it had grown dark and cold around her.

Charlie came home to her curled up, gasping on the floor. Her skin was cold, her face sticky with tears.

"Andy?" Charlie panicked. "Are you alright?"

She felt like she couldn't answer. Her throat was numb. She reached a shaky hand towards her father, gripping his jacket tightly.

"Bella," she whimpered. "I don't know where she is."

Charlie was moving. He made searched and made phone calls.

Andy sat on the couch crying, holding her fathers jacket close to her. She couldn't deal with this, wouldn't deal with this.

Moving from her spot, she stumbled outside to join the search party. She reached her father, falling into his side lightly.

"Daddy," she sobbed, he head pressed to him firmly.

"Hold on Billy," he spoke into the phone. "Yeah, Andy?"

She looked up him slightly, discarding her previous motive temporarily. "Billy?"

"Yeah, him and a few people are coming down to help us look."

Andy reached for the phone in a silent question. Her father handed it to her carefully.

"Billy?" she croaked into the phone.

"Andy," the man sighed in relief.

"Can- can you bring Quil too please? When you come?" she sobbed lightly, the man worried for the girl.

"Of course." His tone was gentle.

Andy handed the phone back to her dad. Leaning back into his side. "Daddy? Can I have some of my pills please? I don't know where you guys keep them."

She knew her father wouldn't like the idea, but he didn't know what else to do. He watched her swallow the med's as she sat back on the couch and continued to cry silently.

She waited, time made no sense to her. Drifting in and out of the dangerous waters of her pain, she floated on the surface unsure of when the drowning feeling would return. The pressure always remained, always making it hard to breathe, hard to think clearly.

She needed a release, an outlet, but none of it worked. She wanted something to burn her but she was frozen.

That's how he found her, sobbing brokenly. It hurt him more than anything to see her like this, especially knowing that it was those weird Cullen's that caused it.

"I've got you," he whispered as he lowered himself onto the couch next to her.

Andy's sobs grew harsher and louder at the sound at the sound of his voice. She gravitated towards him, pulling herself into his lap.

He held her close, soothing her occasionally as she broke in his arms.

"They left," she cried into his chest. "They just left us like we never mattered."

"You matter more than anything," he whispered into her hair.

Andy clung to the boy like her life depended on it. He was like a light that called her to him, a soothing feeling of never being alone.

"Don't leave me."

Quil pressed a kiss to her temple. "Never."

***

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this makes me sad.