Troubled Minds | Quil Ateara [2]

Quatorze

The beach was her favorite place to go. Lynn lived nearby, Sam and the boys lingered around her whenever she was on the reserve, Quil was never far. She never felt lonely in LaPush with someone willing to spend time with her.

It was on the rare days, that Andy found herself alone that made her miss her sister. Bella was her favourite person growing up' always playing the role of sister, guardian and bestfriend. With the elder Swan girl busy distracting herself with the Black boy, a boy Andy once considered her friend, the sisters hardly saw each other. It was relieving, yet disappointing at the same time.

Andy felt like a bird, let loose from a cage after so many years. She had room to do what she wanted, but she had no real direction. For the first time she had the opportunity to feel alive, yet her insides burned her, a constant reminder of everything she lost and would continue lose.

High on the cliffs, she was able to feel the wind against her skin. She could see far and wide the vast and that was begging for her to explore, but Andy was a bird with broken wings.

Her mind was a mess. A tornado of raw emotions and memories that flitted around tearing her apart at the seams. She would never understand why her. Why was she burdened to feel the pain of another person when she could barely handle her own?

She would never understand why she had grown so accustomed to the burning in her lungs and veins from lack of oxygen that she sought out the ocean. Begging it to pull her in, making them one.

Her mind was a mess. Words playing at her lips wondering if she would ever have time to say all the words needed to be said.

Andy gazed at the water in front of her. The sky was filled with swollen bruised clouds. The sky imitating her own emotions, tears gathered in the girl's eyes waiting to be spilled over.

The tide was strong and uncontrollable, somewhere cold she could easily get lost.

His arms always pulled her back. Holding her around the waist in a warm embrace, she was able to pull herself back from the fog that had convinced her to jump from the cliffs to the water that beckoned her home.

Andy believed her troubled mind would be the death of her. A torturous place that continuously assaulted her every waking moment.

"It's a little cold for a swim," his breath tickled against her ear.

She fought back tears as she held to his arms, his worry building her own sense of guilt. She was uncontrollable, she belonged with the dark waves bellow.

"How about we get you inside?" his arms held her impossibly tighter. Andy felt horrible for making him worry, that was never her intent but she supposed it was a foreseeable consequence.

"I don't feel like going inside," she mumbled quietly. "The sky's too pretty."

Quil pulled them further away from the ledge and towards the path that led back to the beach, never loosening the hold he had on the shivering girl.

"Drea, baby, you're shivering. Let me take you inside somewhere," the boy pleaded softly.

Andy turned her head so she could see him, see how tired and scared her looked. She sunk into him, trying to offer him a sense of comfort.

"Look at the way the clouds look ready to spill, how bruised they've become," Andy pointed her out, her voice hypnotic. "We get rain everyday, yet the clouds still get overwhelmed with water."

Andy took an unconscious step forward only to be pulled back by Quil.

"Drea, please, you'll get sick," his voice wavered.

Her head rushed as reality began to set back into place, her heart hammering in her chest.

"Okay, let's go to your house," her voice broke on her words.

Quil smothered her in blankets. His room looked a mess as she sat on his bed cocooned in warmth as he tried to find more.

Andy could feel her face growing warm and a sheen layer of sweat collected on her body. Worry and sorrow seeped into her skin, making her stomach turn.

Pushing herself to her feet, she tried to hold as many blankets to her as possible. Her feet padded against the wooden floors toward the distraught boy. He faced away from her and she placed a hand o his back.

"Quil," her voice was raspy with lack of use. "Come lay with me."

The boy faced her with sad eyes. He wrapped her in his arms almost immediately, and led her to his bed. They lay facing one another, their bodies touching in the most innocent of ways. The look in his eyes drove Andy to move closer.

"I can't lose you, not like I'm losing everyone else." He spoke though unshed tears.

Andy reached out and played with a soft tuft of curls that fell onto his forehead. "You won't," she whispered to him.

His eyes shut and small sobs shook his body.

"I just don't understand."

Andy shook off multiple blankets and held him to her, letting him bury his head into her chest.

"I can't explain it, not yet. Sometimes I'm just sad and nothing really makes sense. My thoughts get all jumbled, my mind is troubled more often then not. I'm trying, but it's hard," Andy spilled her heart to the boy as best she could.

"Don't leave me," Quil lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"I won't," she promised. "I won't."

***

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So this is pretty sad...

Unedited