Troubled Minds | Quil Ateara [2]

Dix-Sept

It was easy to avoid Bella when the girl was often too busy to spend any time with her. The older Swan sibling spent most of her time with Jacob, whom apparently hated her immensely. It made no sense to Andy, how her sister could simply choose him over her but then again Andy was putting Alice and Jasper above her sister.

Andy could defend herself however. She could defend her decision because he was deciding to make herself happy for a change. Her life has always been influenced by those around her, always been hiding in the shadows because her soul would ache. Having always been oppressed by the emotions of others, she yearned for the freedom that she had felt when with the Cullen's. A freedom that she could have potentially felt with the Quileute's but that was ruined before she even had a taste.

Walking through Forks, she shuddered as the cold seeped into her skin. Bella had left directly for the reservation, not even waiting to see if Andy wanted a lift; leaving the girl to walk home on her own. Each step she took sent a shock through her legs. It was a constant reminder that she had been walking for too long.

Her home wasn't all that far if you were driving, but walking felt like forever. However, she wouldn't complain. It gave her time to be alone, time to think things through. It was a relief to feel like she could once again catch her breath.

Being alone was like breathing fresh air. It was like a cleansing sensation for her mind, washing away every trouble she had. It was a welcome feeling, especially when she knew that her emotions weren't meant to haunt her. At such a young age, Andy knew that she shouldn't wish to feel numb but it was often the case.

Taking a moment break, she reached into her back and pulled out one of her cameras. She took a moment, fumbling with it before taking a photo. A quick snap could be heard and she glanced towards her camera.

It was a simple picture, one that most people would wonder why she even went out of her way to take it. It was a photo of her shadow, long and dark against the dead grass and the cracked sidewalk. It was a reminder to herself that she was actually there; that she wouldn't fade away.

Andy knew that she would probably hang it in her room, that she would probably slip a copy of it into Bella's scrapbook.

Setting forward with a new found determination, Andy continued to take pictures of random things throughout Forks her entire walk home. It was going to be a reminder for her, for when she left.

Stepping through the door, she froze, eyes wide at the sight of Billy Black sitting in her living room. His eyes followed her, watching as she closed the door and removed her coat and shoes. He kept his gaze friendly, but every part of her was aware that he wanted to say something.

"Hey Andy," Charlie greeted. He wore a bright smile on his face.

"Hey dad, hey Billy," she mumbled. She carried herself to the stairs quickly, head cast down as an attempt to be left alone.

"Andy, why don't you have a seat and keep an old man company?" Billy called to her. "Your dad's just about to head out and pick up some pizza."

Sighing quietly to herself, she moved back into the living room and sat herself on the couch. Andy sat anxiously waiting for the conversation as her father finally head out the door with a call saying he'll be back soon.

She kept her eyes on the ground as she waited for the Quileute elder to speak his mind.

Andy couldn't help but recall how she had spent nearly every afternoon at this mans home with his son. How Jacob was someone she trusted but the boy no longer wanted to see her.

"I don't see you around much," he starts, braking the silence.

She didn't look up. "Yeah, I've been spending time with my friend Lynn."

"Hmm, Lynn Cameron? Nice girl. You sure it has nothing to do with Jacob choosing Bella over you, then exploding again when he sees you?" Billy asked. Andy kept quiet, feeling that his question was rhetorical.

"Jake didn't mean it. He's a little lost right now-"

"A troubled mind doesn't make his actions acceptable," she cut the man off. She leveled him with a blank look. "Jacob is a big boy; he does not need his father cleaning up his messes."

Billy shook his head, a small smile on his face. "You are wise beyond your years. You can see the things that no one else does, feels things that others can't, isn't that right?"

She felt her heart clench, the room began to grow hotter. "I don't know what you mean," she stammered.

"My tribe have old stories that tell of time of magic. A time where Valerian's walked the earth freely, where they were beloved by all," he explains, his voice gentle.

She felt tears pool in her eyes and struggled to hold them back. "What are you talking about?" the words felt odd, like a lie poisoning her tongue.

"My people have a different name for your kind, but it's still the same thing. That is why you were hospitalized the past school year, was it not? How you managed to live among the cold ones unharmed." Billy's voice was gentle but it felt like each word was cutting into her skin.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Andy shook her head in denial, her heart raced.

She stilled when a hand touched her own, gently holding it as she shook with silent sobs. "It's okay, Andy. There are many things in this world that you don't know about but it does not mean that the world doesn't hurt you."

She couldn't look him in the eye.

"You don't understand everything. You do not know what it is like, to feel everything when it is not yours," she spoke every word laced with venom. "I have stuck feeling like this my entire life, and now I'm alone to deal with everyone's crap like it was my own. I have dealt with the depression, self-loathing and pain of strangers. I have felt the anxiety and the emptiness of people I know and made it my own, transformed it into something that rips my heart, mind and soul apart without even meaning to."

She ripped her hand away from his. Standing, she crossed the room to the stairs quickly.

"I would appreciate you keeping this from my family, they wouldn't understand. My life is my own so I suggest you leave it because I will be gone after graduation."

"Gone? Gone where?" Billy called to her. She heard his wheelchair moving across the floor.

"I'll be living with the Cullen's that your tribe hates so much," she spat the words out.

Rushing up the stairs, she locked herself into her room. She could feel every heart beat bounding against her ribs. A soft giggle flitted through her lips. Andy felt lighter, freer. She enjoyed standing up for herself.

She planned to stand only for herself and those that cared for her.

***

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