Not My Alpha (Completed)

Chapter Fifty-Five - Unless I'm Not Alpha

"Thank you."

Samuel spoke the words as I came back to sit on the couch. We had spent a sufficient amount of time crying in one another's arms, and after the worst of it had passed, we were left exhausted. I left to get water, hoping to revive us, if only a little. When I returned from the kitchen, Samuel was almost back to normal. 

He was sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward and bracing himself on his knees. His brow was furrowed so deep that I almost couldn't see his eyes. Thoughts were racing across his face, but when I handed him his cup, they stilled. 

I sat down next to him. "What are you thinking?"

"Too much." Samuel shook his head, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. 

"It's not that bad, you know." I attempted a smile to lighten the mood. 

Samuel raised an eyebrow. "What's not that bad?"

"Being human. You talk like its a plague, or something. It's really not that bad."

Samuel looked at me for a long time. I held his gaze for as long as I could, but eventually, I broke away. When my eyes traveled back to my cup, I heard Samuel sigh next to me. 

"I've been told differently."

"Just because you're told something, doesn't mean that it's true." 

Samuel shifted so that he was facing me. I leaned further against the arm of the couch, just out of reach of him. Samuel regarded the distance for a minute before throwing an arm over the back cushions and sinking further into their comfort. He let out a long sigh before he responded. 

"From the moment I arrived here, it's been ingrained in my mind that wolves are better, Samantha."

"And do you really believe that?" I bit my lip, suddenly unsure if I wanted to know the answer. My gaze flicked up to Samuel just in time to see the lines on his face crease deeper into the skin. 

"I did," he nodded.

Anger pricked at my heart. It was a sudden fire that sent sparks into my vision. "Well, that's good to know, Samuel." I tried and failed miserably at keeping the venom from my voice. Apparently, nothing had changed. Despite his past, his pain, Samuel would still forever hold himself above me and what he used to be. 

Samuel's distracted gaze shot back to me. I avoided it, swirling the contents of my drinks in my cup. His hand crept toward me but halted halfway there.

"I said 'did,' Samantha, not 'do.' Things are more complicated, now," he mumbled. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "What's complicated about thinking you're better than someone? That you can treat everyone like dirt and control everything because you're a wolf?"

He shook his head and drooped his eyes. "When everyone tells you something, over and over again, its hard to distinguish what is real and what you're just being told. After a while, you start to believe their words and it becomes a part of who you are." He paused, trying to catch my gaze. My narrowed eyes snapped to him, and he flinched. "Going against what you've always been told isn't easy, Samantha. It's changing the entire way you think. It doesn't happen overnight."

I turned my head away and pursed my lips. The sudden fire of anger had just been doused, despite my best efforts to rekindle it. Samuel's words rang totally and completely true. There was no disputing him because I felt the same way. 

It seemed like so long ago I'd first met Samuel, and I had been terrified. Every interaction I'd had with the wolves only brought me pain and discomfort. Everything I'd ever heard about them was that they were ruthless, bloodthirsty creatures who were more monster than man. Then, Samuel proved to me that wasn't necessarily true. He was the first person to make me realize that not everything is as cut and dry as its made out to be. I understood just how complicated it could be.