Life of a Liar

Clair De Lune

I knew it...I knew it all along...they were going to kill each other...they actually did it...I just didn't expect it to be Kaede of all people...why do I have to be so useless? Why couldn't I find some kind of way to prevent this...? And now that Rantaro is gone...I'm all alone. No one else in this rotten game even thinks I am suffering, they didn't even notice my slip up was actually genuine...they thought it was a lie...I felt myself wandering the corridors away from the dorms as I just sat against a wall in the hallway and sighed. I could die right now...and no one would probably care...that's a sad reality, I mean I am no Kaede...I didn't just sacrifice myself to save everyone else...I am not the person who tried to inspire us...I am just the person who blamed her...no hero...

I ended up in the warehouse, I felt like I couldn't control any of my movements as I reached into a crate grabbing a boxcutter...and I was alone...I ended up just walking around a bit contemplating...why....why are we even in this dumb game...?  I really didn't care where I was heading as long as it wasn't anywhere near the dorms. After all if anyone even caught me with this thing everything would be ruined in an instant and I would be the next victim. Does...this make me selfish? I mean wanting to survive and not even being honest about myself...I mean she sacrificed her life. Sighing I just stopped at a random hallway, not even caring for where it even was at this point. Did it even matter? As long as I was in the school no one would ever know.

I sat against a corner *slice*...useless...*slice* pathetic...*slice* bane to this world...*slice* you let them die...*slice* you didn't even try to prevent this...*slice* everyone hates you...*slice*  just die- a soft melody filled the hallway as I looked around startled. Where is that coming from...?

I turned the corner to see Kaede's research lab's door wide open as I peeked inside to see Saihara. Oh...he seemed to be in some sort of daze...just staring out of the window...probably still missing her...I probably should leave, I ended up backing away slowly when I heard a voice cry out of nowhere.

"Yeah...I'll try. I don't know if I can do it, but...no I'll do it!" I turned around noticing it was Saihara "I have to believe in myself...I won't be afraid anymore. I will face the truth...for everyone. I won't give up...for your sake Kaede. I promise. From the bottom of my heart, I promise you, Kaede" huh...that's a promise...not one I would be able to keep...I heard footsteps coming closer as I made a run for it.

"Ouma?" Saihara called and I nearly cursed under my breath as I turned to face them "oi Saihara chan!" I smiled "your...bleeding" Saihara came closer as I glanced down at the floor, their was some on the floor near the door and my clothes were already getting stained. I sighed "I got attacked by a tiger in these hallways, or maybe I just fell down who knows?" Saihara was right up in my face. Oh god where did I put the box cutter...think...I glanced at the corner of the hallway, it was sitting there in a shady area. If I was lucky he shouldn't notice...he sighed "are you lying?" and I nodded "Yup what I actually did was fall down twice!" and Saihara seemed uneasy about it. No way he's going to tell I am lying...as long as he doesn't turn around...hopefully...

"however you got it we need to stop the bleeding, come on" he grabbed me arm and I fought back wincing as he dragged me to a randomly placed first aid kit. It's the end of the road, goodbye life, goodbye DICE, goodbye privacy I will miss you greatly! Saihara rolled up my sleeve. His eyes widened as he continued looking at me and the cuts "Ouma...this was no accident..." and I cried "Saihara chan doesn't believe me!" Saihara didn't even crack a smile, "I'm serious Ouma, why did you do this..." he looked around and grabbed the box cutter.

"I don't know where that came from" I said with a grin but Saihara just ignored me as he turned his attention back to my arm and he grabbed disinfectant, I held back a wince. Eventually he just wrapped it in bandages as I tried to make a run for it, "Ouma!" he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back and I ended up falling down for real, "Saihara chan is bullying me!" but Saihara quickly helped me up "I am not going to let you leave till you tell me why the he** you cut yourself" I frowned, this is just like what happened with Amami...what if he dies to?  I groaned "fine you caught me Mr. ultimate detective" and I looked around for any form of escape. I grinned "I did it to frame you for murder" I joked but Saihara kept staring at me "the truth" and I stared at him "that is the truth" 

Saihara grabbed my shoulders suddenly and I felt myself blushing as he basically shouted "for real Ouma, I can't stand knowing someone is hurting themselves and I didn't do anything to stop it!" Why am I blushing so much...why does he care so much...it isn't that big of a deal...some of them would probably rejoice in my demise. I felt tears streaming down my face a bit, what are you even doing?!?! I yelled at myself as I pushed him away and once again made a mad dash to my dorm, what happened tonight would never be known again. I once glanced at Saihara who only just stared confused.

Why would he even bother trying? It's hopeless anyway.