Life of a Liar

It's my fault.

......I walked away from the trial scene as I looked down at the bundles of letters in my hands. Did he actually care about us after all...?

I ended up sitting near where I would train with Momota every night and tore open the words hungry for anything left of the liar.

Dear Saihara Chan,
I don't know why I am writing this. I really don't. I mean all you did was ask me why was I cutting myself. I am pretty pathetic if you ask me.

I mean you probably were going through worse losing Akamatsu. Since you probably loved her. I guess I just wanted you to know it made me a little happy knowing someone actually cared about me in this forsaken place.

I hope we became friends. If not...I guess that's fine. But still, thank you for that night. But...do you think...if I was different...if I didn't lie all the time...we could be friends?

~Kokichi Ouma

Dear Saihara Chan,
Thanks for giving me my first kiss on my birthday. And letting me nearly die. Just kidding!

I never got kissed by anyone before so that was weird. I think you made me realize I'm gay. That's weird. Also I have been trying to pick up the slack for my beloved by figuring out what's going on here.

I think I have an answer. But I don't want it to be true. Do you have any plans for your future though Saihara? I know if your reading this I must have lost mine so that sucks. Still....will you remember me? In any type of future you create? I don't want to be forgotten. You better not forget me...or I'll haunt you. Just kidding...still...it wouldn't hurt to know someone will remember.

~Kokichi Ouma

Dear Saihara Chan,
It's all a lie. Saihara this is a show. This whole game is a show. How do I know? When I was putting my bandana back on I saw something.

A little note to myself.

It read: Nothing here is real, you are all being used for entertainment. Don't believe anything and save them.

I am scared though. Everyone is dying and I don't know what to even do with this information. I don't even know why I am writing this. It's not like we talk as much as we used to.

I want to tell you. But...what if it breaks you? And you end up leaving me? Please don't give up Saihara. Please don't.

Please end this.

~Kokichi Ouma

Dear Saihara Chan,
I am sorry. I know that isn't enough to make up for what I did but for it's worth I hope you know I am.

I'm sorry Gokuhara. I'm sorry Iruma. I'm sorry to everyone who's died for not being able to do anything to stop this game.

I'm trying...i'm trying so hard to find a way. I don't want to believe in hope though. Not anymore. After all, it will just make for good entertainment.

And at the same time I don't want to despair. Maybe thats the answer for what I need to do. Or...will death be kinder?

I don't know. You tell me.

~Kokichi Ouma

Dear Saihara Chan,
Man you sure are dense sometimes! I kissed you and you still don't understand what I was trying to do for us even though I hung out with you the most and I also acted drunk out of blood loss!

Still I guess this is why I am the SHSL supreme leader and not my beloved. But still your a detective.

I really hope your not reading this though. Cause if you are...that means everything didn't go according to plan A.

And that I am probably dead. I guess I should stop beating around the bush huh? I love you Saihara chan! You heard me don't make me repeat myself baka!

Heh...this feels nostalgic for some reason. Me wanting to confess to you like this. The way sometimes I swear we met before. That...maybe we did have something.

Anyways I am not going to explain myself. I know what I did. And I know I will pay the price for it. I guess I am going to he** though. I know you can do this Saihara. And if you give up I will personally come back and slap you in the face until you man up.

And no matter what don't you dare die Saihara you don't deserve it and you got a lot of work to do when you get out of here to fix this screwed up world.

Sorry I'm not there to help you though. I did leave clues for you in my bedroom though if you need a push. I couldn't figure it out myself but hey maybe it will make sense to you.

Or you fail and we all die. Yay. Actually if that's what it takes though...to end the killing game....do it. I will forgive you.

Also if Momota is still alive can you tell him I'm sorry? For messing with him so much. Because...well...hes probably a better person than me.

Also Saihara...did I stand a chance? Did I end the killing game? If so I expect for a whole case of Panta at my grave as my reward.

I think this will be my final letter.

Bye Saihara.

~Kokichi Ouma

Why is he the one apologizing...I should be saying I'm sorry to him. For all the times I didn't manage to help him. For making him think he had to do this all on his own.

I should have been there, I should have known that what he was saying, how he acted when Gokuhara died was a lie.

I looked at the night sky. I'm going to make it up to you Ouma. I will stop the killing game. Even if I have to die for it like you, Kaede and Kaito did.