Moonbow

Chapter - Thirty Four : THE TRUTH TO BE REALISED

Ezekiel...

We humans have the tendency to avoid the person we really start to get close or start to have feelings, I heard the theory but with Aurora, I understood it.

I knew that what I was feeling and what I was doing was not for just the show of making her fall for me but instead it was me who was slipping away.

I tried to avoid it, the rush of cutting myself to drip away my emotions, I was taught to do so and that to imagine that with every droplet of blood, I lose the emotions and feelings I get with it, but with Aurora? It was too much that I knew that even if I bled out to death, my feelings won't go.

It was twisted though, self harming and trying to think that it makes you emotionless but the way I was living throughout my life, it was the only thing I knew, as it was just as important to me as breathing.

I entered the room, and without any delay and without putting the blindfold on, I too the blade. The same blade my father gave me that day when I was a boy and when he made me the first man in my life for the initiation.

I still remembered everything, the first cut I made on myself and the blood that dripped and the words,

" Dont feel and show,
Or you shall be punished. "

Still was there even with the uncountable amout of times I tried to forget them. I knew my actions were not normal but that ounce the sickness in me was the only sanity I had in the end.

I looked at the blade in my hand and with my eyes fixated on it and with the constant mantra if not to feel anything, I started to make the cut and closed my eyes which turned out to be a mistake because then without any warning, came those black eyes in my mind which looked through my soul and knew my sadness in some secretive way.

And then came the thoughts of those lips which whenever I touched with mine, soothed my soul and because of which the became the only thing after the killing and blood to do so.

In a split second, all the thoughts of her replaced the thought of those words which was so magical because I myself was never able to do so and the blade slipped right from my hand and I opened my eyes.

I looked at the blade first and then saw the blood which was there, gushing out of my wound but for the first time in more than eight years, it was the sadness that was getting away through it and and ironically making my feelings stronger with each passing second.

The wound hurt like anything yet I stood there looking at it with a weird excitement in it for I dont know how long.

But just when I was about to turn, came this dizziness which made me move so fast that I grunted with pain and I understood that how wrong was it to stand there like an idiot with an open wood.

I walked towards the door with blade still on the floor as I struggled to keep balance and opened the door to the dark hallway. It was hard to keep balance as the pain increased with every second but the moment I felt like I would fall, I was engulfed with that beautiful scent of hers, holding me.