chapter 39

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Trigger warning:Depression and self harm. If you are experiencing any of these or find these topics too sensitive i suggest that you skip to the end of the chapter.

I was still on my knees in the doorway. My heart was pounding fast and i was struggling to breathe properly. Was this it? Was this really happening? Is my mom really going through with this?

A million thoughts were racing through my head. I didn't know what to think.

The room was soon completely empty. My mom...or should i say my former mom took Stacy to her room and never came back. I got up from the floor and walked to my room.

I wasn't sure about what was going to happen next. Was i going to a foster care? What will happen to me when i turn 18?

I sat on my bed and put my phone on charge and switched it on. My phone immediately started buzzing because of all the notifications that where coming through. I went in Instagram. People tagged me in photos,horrible photos. It was pictures of me with my face scratched out and and words on the picture that said "slut" "hoe" "whore" all over the pictures. It didn't really bother me until i went in Twitter. People posted and tagged me in the most awful stuff. They usually say that when you're being cyberbullied then you shouldn't read the posts,but come on. I began to read the posts.

"I can't believe y/n. How could she do this to Aidan."

"I always knew that y/n was using Aidan for clout and money.
I guess she thought that she'd get more money by Austin. Lmao!"

"I hope she dies in a ditch, she doesn't deserve to live."

"Y/n used to be one of my favorite people, i guess a girl can change."

"If i see that bitch im going to fuck her up!"

I was actually really hurt by what they said. No one know what really happened but it also looks like no one's going to believe me. I started crying again as i was holding my phone. I put my other hand infront of my mouth to prevent myself from screaming and sobbing out loud. I then started typing.
"I didn't do anything!!!" My hands where shivering as i was typing. I posted it and immediately started getting comments on the post.

"This bitch really has the fucking nerve!!"

"Do us all a favor and die!"

"Just please stfu!!"

"Aidan doesn't deserve a slut like you."

"I hope you live a miserable life."

I immediately went out of Twitter and just deleted all my social apps. I didn't deactivate or delete any of my accounts,i just deleted all the apps. I put my phone down crimped up in the corner of my room. I sat there for awhile until i realized something.

I crawled to my bed and lifted up the blanket from my bed. And there it was,the three 2liter bottles of old wine that was still under my bed. I started drinking from the one bottle. My chest,stomach and even my back was burning of the alcohol that was continously entering into my system. I let out a deep sigh when i removed the bottle from my lips. And it went on and on until the bottle was completely empty. My insides where burning of the alcohol and my face was completely red. I don't think that you're supposed to drink this clean,but whatever. I just want to get rid of this feeling,i want it to be gone.

It's like this feeling,it just creeps up on you quietly. At the very beginning you struggle with little things but you usually choose to ignore them. It's like a headache,you'll tell yourself it's temporary and that it'll pass,it's just another bad day...but it's not. You're stuck in this state of mind and you get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people because it's what you have to do. It's what other's do. However the problem does not go away,you struggle to act normal everyday and it starts to crush you more,that's how you fall even deeper. And that's how you start to slowly loose you're friends,you're family,everyone.

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