Memories Tend To Be Dreams Themselves[LEVI X READER X ERWIN]

#25: Relief

"Good morning Oluo," [Y/N] greeted.

It had felt out of reality, when they'd finally descended from the wall and headed back to headquarters. The remaining titans in Wall Rose were being taken care of by squads from both the scouts and the Garrison, which had been called as renforcement to give the soldiers who'd already been fighting a break before they collapsed from exhaustion. Now, two days after the supposed breach had been made, things were going pretty slow in HQ.

Grief was in the air as most of the survey corps were getting their rest in the old castle they called home, recovering from the stress, fear and trauma they'd suffered from recently. However, despite everything, an odd sense of relief remained, because even if their lives wasn't guaranteed, at least they got to stand by for some time.

The morning air made [Y/N] shiver slightly as she drifted her gaze from the sunset to meet the eyes of her comrade, whom by the looks of it, hadn't slept much either.

"Good morning [Y/N]," Oluo greeted back. "I didn't think I'd find you here. What are you doing by the training ground?"

Leaning on the area's wooden fence, she shrugged. "I get quite the peaceful feeling looking at this empty place. It's like a break from reality. What about you?"

The man sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I couldn't sleep. I was thinking."

Raising an eyebrow, [Y/N] turned to him. "Humor me. What's on your mind?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. I wouldn't want to bother you."

"You're not bothering me," she replied, unwavering. "I told you, didn't I? You can always come to me for a talk. I find it's easier to get a better perspective of things after saying them out loud. Of course, I won't force you if you don't want to. Just a suggestion."

Her voice was calm, almost soothing.

"I... think you're right."

She didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue on his own.

He looked down, fumbling his sleeves as if to force the words out of his throat. "Whatever I do, my mind keeps going back to the same place. I keep finding myself in that giant forest, hanging onto you while watching my friends's dead bodies along with that titan. I keep thinking about them, the only group I ever felt I belonged to, wondering why I'm still here while they're gone."

She looked at him, really looked at him, and noticed the sorrow in his eyes as he spoke. She had been caught up in worrying about Levi after his squad's death so much that she had forgotten how much pain Oluo must have been— must still be going through. Grief was something that took time, but everything went down so fast in their regiment, in their world, that no one could stop and take their time to heal properly.

"The three of them were the reason I got up in the morning, the reason I found the courage to put on my gear and throw myself into battle," he continued. "Now I keep doing it because they're gone. I keep doing it because I'm their legacy, and I can't fail them... not another time."

She understood far too well what he meant by that.

"I hear you," [Y/N] simply said.

"You know [Y/N], when we finally reach Eren's basement and get the whole truth, I'll be there. I'll be there then, and I'll be there when we get rid of the titans and discover the outside world. I'll do it because they couldn't," he continued on, getting more and more determined by the second. "They're watching me, I know they are. And I'm gonna make them proud."

"That you will," [Y/N] smiled softly. "I'm certain."

He looked at her, grateful to hear her approval. "[Y/N]... I know I already said it, but thank you for saving my life. If it wasn't for you, I'd be gone. I want you to know I'm grateful to be here, for me... and for the captain," Oluo finished, his voice going out with a whisper.