#33: Deeper

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When [Y/N] awoke, it was to see a pitch black sky out the window.

Apparently, she had slept all day. Judging by the fact that there was no noise in their little cottage hideout, it was probably sometime in the night, too.

She yawned, trying not to make too much noise. Although when she tried to stretch, she realized with a jolt a situation she was in.

Levi had completely straddled her in his sleep. His arms and legs were tightly gripped around her body, as if he was clinging to her for dear life. His head, of which she could only see the top due to his hair, was laying peacefully on her breasts as if they were pillows.

How had she not woken up earlier with all his weight on her?

He held her tight; tighter than someone who's asleep should. Additionally, his breathing was ragged, as if he were struggling.

"Levi?" she whispered, trying to figure out if he was sleeping. Yet, he didn't seem to hear her.

Perhaps he was having a nightmare?

"No, don't..." he said, not moving and inch.

"Levi?" she whispered again.

"Why... no..."

At this point, she had figured out that Levi was talking in his sleep. She didn't know what to do at all. She just laid there, trying to relax her body as much as possible.

"No... Erwin... please..." Levi murmured again, his sleep becoming more and more troubled. "Erwin... [Y/N]... don't leave."

Pained to hear such words, [Y/N] put her arm on his back, caressing it as gently as possible.

"Don't go... take- me with you," he blurted out again, this time getting interrupted by his own breathing. "I not... good enough?"

After that, as the motion on his back calmed him down, his breathing stilled and he stopped talking, seemingly having a better dream. Still, [Y/N] felt absolutely horrible at what he'd said.

She couldn't stop the tears from forming in her eyes. Is that what he thought? That Erwin and herself would take off and leave him? Or was it just a bad dream that meant nothing?

It suddenly dawned on her that it was happening again- someone she cherished felt abandoned by her yet again, and she hadn't known how to prevent it. Before she'd know it, this would turn into the Matthias incident all over again.

Overwhelmed by emotions she likely shouldn't be feeling at all, sobs started making her body shake. As much as she tried to stop them, the noises ripped through her throat.

Beneath her head, she felt her captain starting to stir and groan.

Suddenly his head perked up. "[Y/N]?" he called out drowsily, still overtaken by sleep. "Are you crying?"

At the concern in his voice, she tried to calm herself down. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up. I guess some emotions got to me."

He stayed silent for a little while, then spoke up. "Move a little. My arm is stuck under you, and it's dead."

With somewhat of a chuckle, she did as he asked. Yet, he didn't move away from her completely; he just took his arm back.

"You know; I don't know how to do this. Comfort you, I mean. If you were anyone else I'd have told you to pull yourself together and walked out."

"Then," she asked, propping herself so she could hold him better. "What's so different about me?"

"I... I don't know," he stuttered out, flustered at the question. "I guess just don't want to leave you."

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