The bodyguard (Taehyung ff)

XXIV

I was sitting on the park swing with my hands in my pocket. On the floor beside my feet was a bag of beer just in case I needed it... or he did. Well they was enough for both of us. I sat there kicking the ground while swinging back in forth. Suddenly I heard squeaking and I looked up to see Taehyung rolling his bike towards the park. He looked up and saw me. He seemed out of breath and in that moment the wind blew and my heart ached. The sight of him made me hurt. Because I missed him... his scent still remaining in the breeze was killing me. I smiled awkwardly and patted the seat of the swing beside me.

"Have a seat." I said. I looked back down to the spot I was kicking. Admiring my shoes that were overworn. He sat down and I cleared my throat.

"I... How have you been?" He started. I nodded.

"Busy. Working." I replied short and sharply. It was silent.

"And uhh you? You're back to working with him I'm assuming?" He nodded and I smiled painfully.

"This sucks huh?" I said laughing awkwardly. I looked up and he was staring at me and I nodded.

"You know... pretending like we are fine when we're not." He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah... its not the best feeling." I sighed and grabbed a beer a chugged as much as I could. I then gasped for air and took a deep breath in.

"Truthfully you hurt me." I started then looked at him as he looked at me.

"You lied to me. I was confused how someone I cared about and trusted so much could lie to me so easily. I... I feel like I don't even know you honestly. But... in the back of my head something was holding me back from hating you and disregarding you forever. So... I thought I should atleast hear you out before I make any decision. So I don't regret it..." I smiled then looked back down.

"I'm not ready to here it but... if you can please tell me the truth and explain to me... I'll listen to what you have to say." It was silent and I looked up at Taehyung and his eyes were teary. He looked away and quickly wiped it.

"Okay... thank you for this."

TAEHYUNG POV

She nodded and continued to drink the beer. I sighed and looked at my feet too.

"At first... it's just as you imagined and saw. I was simply a pawn for my boss. You see his family and him have done so much for me and taken me in as there own. Teaching me everything I know today. They've shaped me to be who I am. And for that I am eternally grateful to them and gladly accepted to play a pawn for my boss.

He fell in love with some rich guys daughter and asked me to protect her sending me instructions and I followed them the best as I could. And the plan was to keep her safe till he could reach her.

But then I got to know her... I got to know you.

I got to know the sweet and innocent person you are. Kind, naive, gullible, flustered, vulnerable, beautiful- you were like... a glowing star that I wanted to Protect. Not because I had to anymore. I got to see and experience memories with you that my boss never saw... or directed. You implanted yourself in my brain.

And then like a miracle... you confessed. That day I had no sense of reasoning... I just confessed right away and followed my heart thinking everything was gonna be okay.

But when I returned, I realised what I had done. I just shot my boss in the heart. I could never- I never wanted this. This was not meant to happen. So I ignored you. Tried to forget you again. But then... you were kidnapped. Disappeared from my sight and I went crazy. I once again lost al sense of reasoning. And then you almost-

You almost died. I told myself I didn't care what happened between me and my boss. I would follow my heart. I wouldn't hurt you. I was going to tell you the truth once everything was calm and I could speak to my boss. But you found out... and so did my boss. And now... I don't expect you to love me. I just... I want you to know that I really did love you. This wasn't ever a joke to me."

I looked up at her and she was staring at the sky above her.

"...when Jimin lied to me. He was my only anchor keeping me from going totally insane. So when I found out he lied it was like getting stabbed in the heart over and over again. Then... you comforted me... then I found out your actions were premeditated. You could've stopped me from going through that?"

"I know... but like I said I wasn't deeply involved with you then..."

"So you really did love me?" I nodded rapidly.

"YES I- I did..." she nodded.

"And if I were to forgive everything. What would you do. Would we be dating?"

"I... I love you but I don't know... if I can betray my boss... I need some time to think... properly" I heard her scoff and I looked up shocked.

"I understand completely where you are coming from taehyung... your boss is like family. Your saviour. You owe home your life." I nodded and smiled.

"So you... forgive me?" She started laughing and I froze. What... why was she laughing.

"Taehyung... look regardless of whether I forgive you or not. If I'm still mad about your lying or not. I am not about to commit my everything again and trust someone who isn't even sure if they can support me."

"Wait but-"

"I know. I know he's like family. But... I care about myself too much to allow myself into a situation like this... what if you turn your back on me again I... I don't know if I can take that anymore!?" I froze. She was right. I had no right to talk her to forgive me and to love me. When I wasn't even ready to love her. I saw tears dropping from her eyes and guilt weighted on my heart.

"Thank you for telling me this... I'm sorry I just need time before I can reply." She then got up and walked away immediately. I sat staring at the floor for a while then looked to the empty swing seat next to me. What am I meant to do.