Unfortunately Unlucky

Unrevealed

Asia's POV

"Finally, lunchtime!" I said to Jenna as we walked down the hall.

"Now that I've got a moment with you, was that Jackson I saw this morning?"

"The one and only." I said.

"I haven't seen him in a while. Do the guys know yet? About the whole deal with him?"

"No, not yet. I've avoided it for a while. I know they think we dated. I'm not an idiot. But I'd rather keep some things unrevealed to the outside world."

She giggled a bit. "So I'm still the only one who knows?"

I laughed at her excitement. "Yes. Yes you are. I just wish they knew that I wasn't avoiding the questions and talks, because it's a not sad memory, but it's an embarrassing one. I have to live with the fact that-"

"Hey, Asia." Someone said from behind me.

"Hi, Dally." I said politely. I was thankful he didn't hear what I was about to say concerning Jackson and I's relationship.

"Just a question for ya. So you and Jackson-"

I cut him off. "Dallas, Jackson and I aren't dating. We never have and we never will. Whatever Charlie's wild conspiracy theories are, they're wrong. Trust me."

"Feisty, aren't we?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you have someone else to bother?" I asked.

"Come on." He drawled. "Can't you just tell me?"

"Can't you just leave me alone!" I snapped.

I grabbed my water bottle and squeezed it, causing it to splash down his face. I threw the plastic bottle to the floor and walked away with Jenna.

"And to think you guys didn't absolutely hate each other anymore."

"I think that too sometimes, then he does this and now I have to buy a new water." I said with an eye roll.

Dallas' POV

Dammit, Asia!

I wiped the water off my face quickly and she walked away.

I sat down with the guys at lunch and they were all trying to laugh. "You know she despises you, right?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. I figured I could get it out of her, though."

Is she embarrassed or something? I don't understand. When we were by ourselves last night everything seemed great. Now she's acting like she owns the place again. I don't understand. Is it a girl thing?

"She'll come around eventually. Wet hair is a good look on you, anyway." Logan said.

"Haha." I muttered. "Aren't you guys ever curious about her? Like why she's so secretive?"

"Not really." Devin said.

"We kinda just let her do her own thing. We love her, but some things are better left alone, sometimes.

"Dal, I'm gonna tell you something about her. And don't tell her I told you this." Charlie started. I leaned back in my chair. "She's been through hell and back. Her parents suck, her old friends sucked, her entire life has sucked. Have you seen her arms? I know she wear long sleeves a lot, but they aren't pretty. So as much as we wanna know about her, we know when too far it too far.

He paused for a second. "She doesn't have the emotional status like a lot of people do. She handles things differently and we've learned this over the years we've spent with her. So if she wants to talk about it she can, but I don't wanna lose her as a friend, because she can go from sweet to sour within a matter of seconds and it's not worth barging in her business for."

"But how is this too far?" I asked. "How do you know when you've hit the limit?" I asked.

"We all just know. She shuts down. She'll cuts you off mid sentence, she'll walk away, she'll call you an idiot or something. It's the little things, sometimes." Logan said.

"Fine. Whatever. Keep your secrets, Asia. Even though they're dumb and weird." I mumbled.

The guys all stopped talking after that.

What is her deal?

Asia's POV

Jenna managed to slip in the whole virginity talk again. When the guy she did it with walked by it was all she could talk about.

"So... if I remember correctly, you were telling me about your sex life last time this topic came up." She said finally stopping herself from being the center of attention.

"As I've said before, some things are left unrevealed."

"So you don't have a sex life is what you're sayin'?"

"One, I never said that. Two, can ya stop using that term so casually?"

"Sex! Sex! Sex!" Jenna yelled.

"Shh!" I said, talking over her. "Jenna!" I snapped.

She grinned. "Come on. Can't you tell me? I'm your best friend?"

I sighed. She is my best friend.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the bell rang.

Thank. God.

"Another time, I guess." I said with a mischievous grin.

"I look forward to it." She said, laughing.

"I'll see ya in a few hours." I said.

"Bye."

God, I hate that conversation.

I never lied.

But I want to.

I wanna say I lost it. I wanna say I did it. I don't wanna say I've chickened out of every opportunity I had to lose it.

But I can't lie to her. If it were anyone else I would lie. But not to Jenna.

I couldn't do that to her.

I can't avoid this conversation forever. A school bell can't save me every time. Dallas can't save me every time.

I just wish I had the confidence to admit it. The confidence to say that I can't commit to it.

But I just don't.

I'm sorry, little Asia. I'm sorry I'm not the confident girl you wished I was years ago. I do have good friends. But I just can't keep this act up forever. I can't do it anymore.

No matter where I go, nothing can change the fact that I'm just not who I want to be.

My unrevealed identity has to come out as some point.