Unfortunately Unlucky

Uncomfortable

Asia's POV

I stayed at Jenna's the next day. Charlie came over to make sure I was ok, but I had Jenna tell him I wasn't here. I didn't wanna deal with him. Or anyone, for that matter.

I just couldn't accept it. I couldn't accept the fact that he was listening. He knew everything I did with Dallas. Every. Single. Thing.

I wasn't embarrassed of Dallas, I was embarrassed of the personal things I've done and said while with Dallas.

I was so uncomfortable with him knowing these pieces of information. I trusted Dallas. He knew what it was like to have shitty parents who completely abandoned you and left you to fend for yourself.

Devins parents just argued all the time. They kicked him out every once in a while, which don't get me wrong, I know is bad, but they always begged him to come home.

Jenna's mom drove us to school on Monday and I sighed as I walked in the door. I begged her to let me stay at their house, but they gave me the whole lecture on how school is important and all that bullshit.

I walked in the school and took a different way to my locker than usual. Jenna walked with me.

"Jenna, I know you wanna go talk to your football guy." I said with a slight grin.

"But you're more important." She said sympathetically.

"I'll be ok. I've been through worse." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked. I nodded. "Let me know if you need anything. You're the best. I love you." She said quickly as she hugged me.

And to think I was actually able to cross my first goal off my list. Having a nice group of friends. Now I have one... Jenna.

"Asia!" Someone called out.

I recognized Charlie's voice without even having to look up.

"We were so worried about you. Where have you been?" Logan asked.

"Jenna's." I said quickly and trying to stay vague.

"I went over there. She said you weren't there."

"She lied." I said closing my locker and facing him.

Jackson, Devin and Dallas were behind him. I made sure to stare Devin down as I walked by him.

"What even happened?" Jackson asked.

"Devin? Care to explain?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Asia, I'm sorry. But I was just so curious."

"You were curious? You were curious!" I said, progressively getting louder. "He was just curious, guys. No big deal." I said making sure everyone could hear me.

"Asia..." Devin started as I walked away.

I stopped in my tracks. "You said you liked me?" I whispered. "Don't ever talk to me again."

I walked away.

Was I being dramatic? Maybe. Fine, yes I was. I'm just not sure how this is fair. Why is my life so unfair? Why do I have to go through everything? Why do I have to deal with shit?

I'm always so miserable and it's all my fault.

Everything is my fucking fault.

I can't keep friends, because of how I act. I can't be happy, because I don't put myself in good positions.

It's. Not. Fair.

Today was the most miserable day of my life. I was super uncomfortable around everyone. I was worried everyone would know about how all I ever wanted in life was to be confident.

Not just that, but the fact that it's been five years and I still can't achieve it.

I ended up leaving school early. I couldn't take it. The stress was getting to me. The stress of knowing that any moment Devin could tell everyone everything.

I didn't know where to go so I just wandered. The sun was starting to set and I needed to go back to Jenna's, even though I didn't want to.

"Asia." Someone said from behind me.

I turned around to see Dallas. "What are you doing over here?" I asked.

"What are you doing over here?"

"Not sure. Hopefully I wander to the ends of the earth." I said, plainly.

"I noticed you left school early. You alright?"

I felt tears form in the back of my eyes, but I blinked them away, hopefully before he noticed. "No. But when am I ever ok? All I wanted in my life was to be normal! Hell, I know I'm over thinking it, but I'm just not happy. I'm never happy! I'm never positive, I'm never optimistic, I'm always so unhappy! Nothing in my life ever goes right and it's not fair!" I yelled.

"I know... and I'm sorry... I really wish I could help. Devin feels bad. He knows he went overboard. Charlie, Logan and Jackson are all confused. So if you're worried about him saying anything, he hasn't so far."

I guess that was a relief. "Jenna's also at Logan's. Guess she didn't realize you left school early. Worried you were gonna get yourself in some trouble."

I sighed. "I guess I'll go back to Logan's and get her." I muttered.

"Come on. I know a shortcut."

It definitely wasn't a shortcut. It was definitely longer.

But I loved it.

Dallas and I talked about everything except the guys. Except sex and drugs and lust. It was innocent conversations with laughter and I loved it.

I've heard what people say about him. It's not like I had never heard of him before we met.

Maybe it was just for me, but he wasn't as bad as everyone said he was.

"Hey, Dally?" I asked.

"Yeah, Doll." He said, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Do you ever wanna leave New York?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"Like move out? Or like an excursion?" He asked.

"Move out. Leave the state forever."

"I've thought about it. Why?"

"I dunno. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was leave Michigan. Now all I wanna do is leave New York. I dunno if it's because I'm just not a happy person and I'm not content with anything or because I actually don't like it here and there's a possibility for a better life out there."

He stopped for a second. "I've actually gotta place outside of here down south."