Something changed between us. I want to touch her and feel her, but she is not a bitch that I can get at any time. The urge to be with her was building faster than I expected. Going on a date was something I only do when I want to take a woman to bed, but for the first time, I felt like I need to do it to make her happy. Nandini changed too. Her feelings for Daniel, I am not sure about that yet, but when she is with me, she acts awkward. She blushes easily as if she started liking me. She might've, but am I sure about that?
I wanted to confirm. I wanted to confirm everything. The feeling is too nice to be true. A woman betraying me again is something that I can never face.
I started touching her more than before, and surprisingly she is not rejecting me. That doesn't also mean I can push further. She is a sensitive woman. But just a little. Just a little.
I slowly kissed her. Her face looked like she liked it. That face was enough for me to lose control. I hardly pushed myself onto her. Her lips tasted sweet. Her body odor, her soft hair, her voice, her smile, and her red face when I touch, her every piece of her body is making me tremble in front of her. I have never felt like this for a long time.
I want her to tremble, too. Bite her all over her body and do it until she begs me to stop. I want to do everything to her body that she would want to ask for more. I also feel like I should keep everything in control so that she won't treat me as a monster. Furthermore, I AM a monster, but I can't ... Likewise, I don't want to be now for her and only her.
Touching her is becoming comfortable, and I don't want to stay away from her small body anymore. She clearly has feelings for me and I found them, but why am I hesitating?
"Why are you suddenly acting affectionate with me?" The words were out of her mouth. I am expecting them, but they came sooner than I thought. AN answer.
She needs an answer.
I am not a child to not know about these feelings. I know everything clearly to face it again for the second time, but too stronger than the first time. This feeling is not pleasant for me. It's uncomfortable. I don't want to walk into that further. I don't want to fall for a woman again like she will be the whole world to me.
I don't want to face that kind of pain I faced before. People might think Manik, the dragon lord, has nothing that hurts me. Like a monster. Like a devil-like everything that doesn't feel pain but the feeling I faced previously is something, I should not face or rather that should not make myself face again any further.
"Maybe it's been too long since I've got laid" I blurted out, something that I can't take back now. She already sees me as a characterless person who sleeps with anyone who comes to me, and she is the same now.
It was not what I meant to say, but I couldn't help it.
"I am not your fuck buddy" She yelled and ran out of the room. Her face.... this is the first time I saw that kind of look on her face. I hurt her. I hurt her hard. She will stop this now.
Fuck buddy huh.
I know that already, idiot. I know everything already! You are not that type of woman.
End of Manik pov.
---------
Author pov,
Nandini ran to her room and her eyes are complete;y filled with tears while Manik sat down in his own room sipping the whiskey hungrily. Trying to get high to forget the feelings forming inside his heart.
-------
Nandini pov,
This is hell. This is the first time I am feeling this. The heartbreak. My heart feels like it broke. My tears won't stop no matter how much I try to remember the good things that happened in my life.
The first time I felt I can depend on a person. The first time I felt love for a person. The first time I wanted someone to touch me. He is cruel. He is a cruel demon that I fell in love with.
This hurts.
------------
Next day,
I cried all night that my heart is not hurting anymore. My eyes are the only ones that do.
These small petty feelings are nothing but a pain, so I decided to stop all this. Yes, manik maybe someone I loved for the first time, but I can never be a side standby for anyone.
I never felt love in my life. I am abandoned. I struggled. Furthermore, I faced all things alone and will do the same from now on too.
Manik, a person can never control my life upside down. I did have feelings, but I want to stop those from today. It's not been that long, so I think this will be fine. It is just a starting stage.
"Nandini, we are going out" Manik spoke as he opened the door of my room.
"Alright" I replied with a stone face.
I know I can do this so ...please forget it soon, my heart.
I gave a small smile to him. His eyes widened as if he is shocked.
This---
What is this?
Sorry ... I don't want to mess up my whole life with these feelings I had.
Goodbye Manik.
