37 ~ Nandani Interrupts Rudra's excercise

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Nandani POV

So, after talking to Agastya I went back to do a few of my pending works ignoring what happened with Rudra.

Honestly, I did not know what was happening to me right now.

It had not been a week since we got married and here we were insanely attracted towards each other, trying to fight the world and our problems. I did not know but somewhere in my heart, I was angry about what he did. A part of me was not ready to forgive him for that, and the other part was trying to love him ever more.

I loved him, there were no two thoughts about it.

But, at what cost I had loved him?

I had lost my dignity and self-respect and if the old King had heard the rumours about me been in an affair with a young man, there was no doubt that the people across the entire Hind had not heard that story too.

For a princess, maintaining respect and keeping the dignity of the family safe, was the prime responsibilities.

And, I failed in fulfilling both of them.

A part of me could still not believe how I so stupid that I could not understand his motives, but a part of me was now happy that he also loved me.

And, honestly, I was able to understand his situation somewhere. He had grown up in a really really different environment than me. Just by looking at him, I could understand that he must have started taking responsibility at a young age. I had never witnessed himself laughing, playing and enjoying life.

Every time, either he would talk about the Kingdom or the responsibility or some great values.

And, even I had seen the depth of guilt that was present on his face.

Still, a part of me was not ready to forget what happened. No love, no emotion, and no sorry could correct what my parents suffered because of a wrong upbringing.

That was why I could not stay with him for a longer time.

Because my mother had always told me that a kid is like wet mud and a parent is someone who would craft that mud into a fine pot. A wrong lesson could harm so many lives.

He was very young when he lost his mother and the way he remembers her, I was sure that her mother must be a very good person, unlike his Maasi-ma.

I could not hate him. No.

Because he was trying to change, he was trying to open up. He accepted me as I was, undignified. He passed the test.

But, I still could not balance myself with his anger, his beliefs and his values.

I did not have any major problem with the controlling period but it hurts me deep inside to see him giving up on the enjoyment of life.

He was of thirty years now. I did not know at what age he would start enjoying his life and give up on his hardworking.

What more he wanted now?

All his life, he just worked hard, and harder and only learnt to sacrifice his happiness for the sake of becoming a King.

But, what would be the use of it if was not giving him happiness.

Is that not what life is about?

You come here in this world to live, to laugh, to learn. Why do such things that cannot even bring a slight smile to your face?

Why?

Why sacrifice everything, every piece of happiness till the age of thirty?

And, I hated to know that he did all this because he wanted to become a King to avenge his father's death about whom he knew nothing.

Rudra-NandaniWaar verhalen tot leven komen. Ontdek het nu