Broken texts

~innocence gone~

i still recall
that beach and that afternoon
we moved far from people for a while
i thought everything would be fine
until he started touching me
i didnt know what he was doing
i was innocent and young
and i thought he was loving me
but he was just using me
then he started going down
and i felt him hurting me
i was crying but he wouldnt stop
my whole body was paralyzed from fear
he hurt me then and forced me on my knees
under the water and made me swallow it
i can still recall how i was crying
as my tears mixed with the salty water
and how he shouted at me
told me i had to listen to him
"you love me so you must obey me"
"if you loved me you would do it"
i couldnt even imagine what he did
i wasnt aware of all the bad words he said
i didnt know half of the things he told me that day
and years later it still hunts me
making me remember him constantly
the worst moment of my life
the time where my innocence was ruined
i thought he loved me
i thought he was my best friend
and when his hand slapped my cheek
all my hope was still there
silently praying for him to listen to me
but he just turned around and shouted more
and now im traumatized for life