High School Graduation
I left Ohio in May of 2011 and stayed with my grandparents. I had just graduated high school. My parents were able to attend and there are two points in that time that make me feel immense pain. One was that the only camera my mother could afford was disposable and she took a picture of me from the stands. There was no way as far back as they were that the image would be clear. A mother's only act to preserve a memory with no money. It hurts me even to this day that they spent money on a camera that they didn't have. After walking the stage and the ceremony was concluded I met with my parents to take close photos of us. I was in a state of high anxiety because there were hundreds of people around and I unfortunately at that time had a consistent worry that others were judging me negatively which made being around people unbearable. Now comes the part that pains me so.
My mother asked to go eat because that is a common trend after graduation, but I knew they didn't have the money for food or even the gas to get to a restaurant and so I declined. I didn't want them to spend money on me. My mother took it as I didn't want to be with them. This was further from the truth. After we left and too late I called my mom, but my dad answered because my mom was in tears, crying because my declining to go eat with them hurt her. I made a woman dying of cancer not experience her son's life and graduation. In her death now I hope she understands I never meant to hurt her, I was young and foolish not knowing what was truly important in life.
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Searching for the Answer
Non-FictionThis is a compilation of stories involving childhood abuse and trauma through a first-person impactful perspective mostly chronological. It is my story and is not fabricated in any way. I am posting just to get feedback thank you.
