Elementary School Sing-A-Long
When I was in second grade at Roseview elementary school in Oakridge Ohio our principal wanted to implement a new program which essentially was a gathering of all students in the cafeteria to sit next to each other, wrap their arms around the people next to them and sing while swaying to the beat. I had two best friends at this time, Alex and Richard, they were both really good guys and I trusted them, but even given that trust it didn't allow me to find ease whenever touched by them. This was whenever I was 6 years old and had already been subjected to multiple physical, emotional, and sexual abuse instances. The physical and sexual I believe what drove my next behavior.
When the school held the first sing-a-long I sat next to Richard and our friend Alex sat on the other side. Taking a step back. Growing up for some reason my parents didn't sing in church which was a regular occurrence of not singing to music. It harkens back to my regret and in I experience from my actions telling my sister she couldn't sing. Given this upbringing I refused to sing to any song, I was robbed of an integral part of being a human and it was beat into me to see life that way.
Anyways the first song began and I sat there quietly wanting to leave and didn't sing. The next song came on and the principle and teachers in charge told us to wrap our arms around the people next to us and sway to the beat. So Richard reached out and put his arm around me to which I recoiled and immediately grabbed his arm to take it off me. Richard was having fun and didn't understand why I couldn't handle basic touch from a close friend, but after four or five times of taking his arm off the teacher called on him and told him to stop. The teacher then focused on me and saw I wasn't singing and was having a traumatic reaction to trust, called me over to stand by her until the sing-a-long was over.
I don't know if it was because of me, I went to a relatively small maybe 150-175 student Elementary school but after that sing-a-long the staff implemented an alternative that instead of going to the sing-a-long we were offered the chance to stay in class and read books, to which I did every single sing-a-long until the end of the year.
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Searching for the Answer
Non-FictionThis is a compilation of stories involving childhood abuse and trauma through a first-person impactful perspective mostly chronological. It is my story and is not fabricated in any way. I am posting just to get feedback thank you.
