Silence from this Point Forward
I distinctly remember the day that I decided to stop talking when in class, or engage in any kind of socialization outside of the friends that I had, Richard and Alex. It was also an influence by the only other kid in the neighborhood my age, in that he was a year older and he told me "he likes being the kid in the class that always knows the answer, but never raises their hand." I took this as a behavior to emulate and did so for the entirety of my youth.
You see in third grade I was not really cable of learning anything while in class, it has been this way my entire life, so instead I would over actively engage in joking behavior and playing characters, telling stories, etcetera.
One habit, again third grade so eight years old, I picked up on, was announcing to the class when a squirrel would appear by the window. I would just shout out "Squirrel," then people would look. I did this maybe three or so times when one day a Squirrel appeared and I wasn't going to say anything at all, I just looked in the direction and as soon as the teacher saw me in my seat just looking at the squirrel, she pointed at me and in a hateful tone made the assumption I was going to say "Squirrel" she yelled at me not to. This really hurt my feelings because she made fun of me for something I wasn't going to do. I still remember that day and the class and how from that point forward I took the stance of don't talk, don't ever speak, because any words you choose to evoke will ultimately be turned against you, and you will be a lesser. From that point forward I never raised my hand in class, I only kept my eyes on the paper or book to read, and I was told basically you are a complete fool.
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Searching for the Answer
Non-FictionThis is a compilation of stories involving childhood abuse and trauma through a first-person impactful perspective mostly chronological. It is my story and is not fabricated in any way. I am posting just to get feedback thank you.
