49: The Day After the Confession

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Rosé and I are dating.

If I were to put it into words, I could have summarized it in that one short sentence, but my heart was overflowing with so much emotion that I could barely string a thought together.

The night after the confession, after Rosé had returned to her own apartment, I found myself feeling restless and in a dreamy haze.
I shared a new bond with my first love: the girl I’d fallen head over heels for. It made sense that I would be ecstatic.

It really hadn’t been that long since we first met—just over half a year— and yet, having spent those days pining away, so close to the object of my unrequited love, it had felt like a very long time indeed.

Shortly after the beginning of the new year, I realized I had feelings for Rosé, meaning I had spent about four months in such a state.

Whether it had been “just four months” or “four long months” depended on perspective, but for me, it felt like forever. The saying goes that “first love bears no fruit,” but in Rosé and my case, that didn’t seem to apply.

I'm happy that we're together now, but without the slightest bit of experience, I have no idea what I ought to do next. I don’t know how I should act around her the following day.

Kept awake all night by a combination of joy and apprehension, I was
rather sleep-deprived when I welcomed Rosé into my apartment the day after we confessed to each other.

“…Um, g-good morning.”

Rosé, who had come to say good morning at an hour much closer to the afternoon, was wearing a big smile that completely failed to hide the fact that she felt just as awkward as I did.

The day after Sports Day was a school holiday, so it wasn’t unusual for Rosé
to come over. She had visited frequently before we started dating, too, so it wasn’t particularly strange. She was a familiar figure at home.

What had changed was the feeling of distance between us, thanks to our
new relationship. It somehow seemed like we were further apart compared to before.

Normally, because she was so used to it, Rosé would walk through the door
like it was her own house, making herself at home, but…today, she seemed somehow tense.

However, my nervousness was much worse. I couldn't even muster my usual lighthearted greeting and instead let my eyes wander nervously around the room as I finally managed to reply in a quiet voice, "...Morning."

Then we both took our seats on the living room sofa, leaving a wider-than-usual space between us.

“Um… Y/N, you look a little sleepy,” Rosé said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, well… how do I put this? I was so happy that I couldn’t really sleep,” I mumbled, sounding flustered.

Rosé's cheeks became redder, as if she knew exactly what I meant. “I—I must be pretty carefree, since I slept quite well, feeling happy and fortunate…”

“N-no, I think that’s great! I just—I was thinking about all sorts of things and was too worked up, like a little girl the night before a field trip!”

“…So you’re happy, too?”

“Well, yeah… Of course I am, now that I know the girl I like feels the same way… I’m so happy that my head can’t stop spinning.”

I had never done this sort of thing before, so I was practically trembling with joy at the idea that the person I liked reciprocated my feelings. However, I still had no idea how I should act toward Rosé. I was at a total loss.

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