Until Dawn|One Shots

Josh x Reader

Trigger Warning: self harm, depression

You were home alone once again. No one cared about you. Hannah and Beth were gone. Josh disappeared from your life. Your mom and dad were always on business trips, and you refused to let anyone other then Sam and Chris out of your friends in, no matter how much they begged. Chris and Sam were the only two you still allowed in your life, mostly because if it wasn't for them, you'd probably have killed yourself already.

Sitting on your bed, you examined the scars on your wrists, fighting the urge to turn back to old habits, but it was just to hard. The pain was the only thing keeping you attached to this world. It made you feel alive. It kept you grounded, from floating away into your schizophrenic mind, from visiting other worlds that including the lost Hannah and Beth.

You got up and approached your dresser, opening the top draw. You rummaged through all of the cloths until you reached the bottom of your draw, pulling out the small blades that were hidden there.

Taking them back to your bed, you sat down, bringing the sharp edges to your wrists. Slowly, you dragged the blades across your delicate skin, pressing into them hard. The blood pooled from the wounds, dripping down your arm and finally to the floor.

You watched with wide eyes that were full of content. Taking a deep breath, you counted to three and continued, making more blood drip to the floor.

About half way through your wrist, you heard the lock on your door click. Oh shit. You knew your parents wouldn't be home for another 4 days, so who could it be? Was it one of your friends finally breaking down your doors? Or was it Josh with his spare key? No, he hasn't visited you for months, he wouldn't come now.

You attempted to quickly clean the blood but it was no use, there was to much of it and the person's heavy foot steps had already made it up the steps, heading towards your room. Your eyes starred at the door that was now creaking open.

The face that you hadn't seen in months, the one that you had seen everyday, that had fixed all of you bad days, that had made you happy was there.

Your eyes were still opened wide, you looked as if you were a deer caught in headlights, not even because you were caught in your self harming acts anymore, but because of who it was.

"J-Josh?" You whispered, in total shock.

He didn't respond, but ran to you, taking the blade out of your grip immediately.

"Oh god oh god oh god!" He repeated frantically, not sure what to do with all of the blood.

"Josh, oh Josh I missed you!" You cried into his shoulder, holding your one clean hand around his neck.

"The blood (Y/N)! What are you doing to yourself!" He held onto your shoulders, looking at you with hurt.

"I already lost my sisters, I can't lose you too!" He said while pulling you to the bathroom down the hall.

"You left me Josh, what else was I suppose to do? I have no one now, and it didn't help that you blocked everyone out of your life."

"I'm sorry I left you alone, but you still can't be doing this!" He ran your wrist under cold water, making you wince at the contact.

"I can't lose you, not like this. Oh god why didn't you tell me? I would've come over sooner.." He said as he tended to your cuts.

"It's not an easy thing to do, to tell the person you love and miss that your cutting yourself because of your loneliness."

"Where else." He looked at you now, tears begging to be let out of his eyes.

"No, just forget about it." You pushed him away, holding your bandaged cuts.

"I'll tell. I'll tell your parents, and Chris, and Sam." He threatened.

"No, you can't do that!"

"Then tell me."

Sighing, you reluctantly pulled up the sleeve to your other wrist and pulled up your pant legs to reveal your scared thighs. He examined them, then pulled you into a hug, crying into your shoulder, making you feel guilty immediately.

"Why?" He cried more.

"I'm so guilty, Hannah and Beth should still be here! I should've saved them!" You returned his cries.

"I will never blame you! You didn't do anything wrong, and it's not your fault. You have nothing to be guilty of."

"How long."

"Josh.."

"No, tell me how long."

Again, you reluctantly told him, "Even before Hannah and Beth, but I quit. But then when we lost them, it came back a lot worse then before.."

"Oh god, why didn't you let me help you?" He protectively squeezed you. You missed how that felt.

"I-I didn't want to worry you."

"Im going to help you stop this. I'm not leaving your side from now on." He kept his grip on you and buried his face into the crook of your neck.

"Why don't you come live with me? Your parents are never home anyways, and mine aren't either. We could keep each other company. And then Chris and Sam could come and hang out with us. It would be good for the both of us." He now pulled away and looked at your, holding onto your hands tightly.

"O-okay. Okay. I'll come, I want your help." You smiled through your tears.

He smiled as well, helping you off the bed.

"Now come on, Chris and Sam are waiting at my house for a movie marathon."

Hey guys, I know this one is pretty depressing, but I was just in the mood to write something like this and I've got no clue why. I hope you enjoyed thanksgiving if you celebrate it and I want you all to know that I'm working on a lot more stories. Hope you enjoyed it even though it's depressing. Oh, and some good news, I'm gonna get back to writing soon, almost done obsessing over agents of shield. Cya loves next time 😉💗