Chapter Thirty Four

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I didn't talk to my parents throughout the whole ride home even when they tried to talk to me. As soon as we got home, Mickey was waiting for me. He wagged his tail and I smiled down at him, I picked him up and carried him upstairs. I led him to my room and closed the door, I noticed immediately that there was no lock on my door and everything that was sharp was gone from my room. Scissors, my art pens, cuticle nail clipper, etc. 

"Unbelievable!"'I screamed. Mickey hopped off my arms from my unexpected scream. I suddenly heard footsteps coming up the stairs and my parents bursted in. Excuse me, fake parents. They were panting as they looked around the room before looking at me. I threw my hands up and scowled. "You took away my art supplies!"

"It was for your own good!" my mom exclaimed as she looked at me carefully.

"My own good!" You're taking away what's part of me!" I yelled as I crossed my arms.

"The doctors said to get rid of anything that might cause you to do what you almost did and we are going to watch you 24/7 from now on! We are taking you the best therapist there is! We want you to get better! We want to understand you!" dad exclaimed. I scoffed at them as I plopped down on my bed.

"Oh my god! So what, I can't shave now! You guys are being ridiculous!" I yelled. I don't know why I'm so angry. I've never been this angry before, I'm more furious than angry. "Can you guys just please leave me alone!"

My mom was about to protest until dad spoke quietly to her, they both looked at me, then left and left the door open. I groaned and slammed the door. I walked back to my bed and plopped down. Mickey whimpered and slowly walked towards me as if he thought I was going to yell at him too. I sighed and slowly stroked his head. I closed my eyes as I laid on my bed. I twisted my hair around and was thinking of Nate and Jasper when I suddenly weird noise. It was coming from my window.

I slowly sat up on my bed and cautiously stayed on it to see what was happened. Suddenly I saw a ladder and saw none other than Rachael. I rushed towards the window and opened it. I helped her climb into my room. She had her blue hair pulled back into ponytail and was wearing a yellow sweater and jeans. Her dark skin made the yellow sweater look good on her. She had a grim look on her face and she looked at the bandages on my arms.

What are you doing here!?" I said. She ignored me and searched my face.

"I had to see you!" she said glumly. I looked down on the floor and sighed.

"I'm fine," I mumbled. She angrily shook her head at me.

"Why didn't you tell me you had depression!? Or that you were suicidal!?" she whispered harshly. She looked heartbroken as she slowly raised my arms and looked at the bandages. I yanked my arms away from her.

"You wouldn't have understood," I replied. Her mouth was agape at what I just said. As if I was a stranger to her, which is what I really was to her. We were never friends until I had my whole life changed.

"Not have understood! I'm your best friend! We understand each other like nobody else! We shared secrets together! Please talk to me," she reached for my arm but I pulled away. She had a hurt look all over her face and she had tears streaming down her face. "Emery, please help me understand! I don't wanna lose you!"

"Rachael, please just leave me alone," I said as I sat down on my bed. Rachael suddenly had a look of anger all over her face.

"No! I'm not going to leave you alone! I don't want you to commit suicide! I would've been so hurt if you had died when I could've helped you somehow! You looked so happy with me and all over friends and your parents! You never once looked depressed or showed symptoms of it! So what changed!?" she exclaimed. I winced at her tone of voice, and I was surprised that my parents hadn't come upstairs to see what was the big noise was about. Then I remembered how we have thick walls and we wouldn't be able to hear a gunshot in this house because that's how thick it was. I looked back at Rachael and shook my head.

"Everything changed Rachael! Everything!" I yelled. She suddenly held onto my shoulders and shook them softly.

"What did!? Was it that doctor or something! I saw how close you two were together, is that it?" she asked gently. I made a face at her, disgusted for what she was possibly thinking. He was my brother, for god's sake!

"God no! I'm in love with Jasper!" I said. My eyes widened at what I just said. I'm in love with Jasper. Jasper Griffin. The first person whom I met that treated me the same as anyone else. He saw me as a person and not some vile thing. Rachael scrunched up her nose in confusion.

"Jasper? The guy I met before? You just met the guy! I hate to break it to you but that's not love!" Rachael exclaimed. I wanted to pull my hair out. She didn't understand and I can't tell her.

"Just forget it Rachael!" I yelled out.

"No! I won't! I wanna help you!" she yelled.

"I don't need your help!" I threw my hands up and gave a frustrated groan. Rachael suddenly grabbed my right arm and slightly shook it, causing me pain.

"Don't need my help!? You tried to kill yourself! I'm trying to prevent that from happening again! From losing my best friend!" she screamed. She looked at the arm that she was holding and examined it, she couldn't believe that all those cuts were there. Her eyes suddenly hardened as she examined my arm, more importantly, my wrist. She shook her head and then grabbed my other arm and noticed the same thing. She looked at me with questions in her dark eyes. "Where's your mark?" 

"What are you talking about?" I say as I tried to keep my voice steady. She thrusted my arms in front of me.

"Your mark! The mark that represents who you are! Where is it!? It couldn't have disappeared! It never disappears even when you die! The only logical explanation is if . . . Your illegal," she whispered. She looked at me in utter disbelief. As if I wasn't real. "Your not illegal, are you?"

I sighed as I looked at Rachael. The truth had to come out sooner or later. I was just hoping it would never happen.

"My name isn't Emery Cain, my name is Anastasia Light and I'm illegal," I said.

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