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Chapter 30|Rejection Denied

Freddi

Things weren't going right, no scratch that. Things were going very wrong.

I was ready. I really and truly was. Days had passed since I had told Axel and it was now the night before Thanksgiving. Why hadn't he tried anything?

I mean, I was trying my best to give hints, I slept with no shirt, just shorts, and a bra. I'd even outright asked him for it. His answer was always 'not now' or 'I'm tired.'

Axel had been avoiding touching me, so much so that it looked like we were more friends than anything else.

He doesn't want you.

I ignored the daunting thoughts as they entered my mind. That simply wasn't true. Axel loved me, he had said it himself.

Then why wouldn't he touch you?

I pushed aside the pain in my chest and continued to get ready. Guilty as I already felt for concocting the plan, I was going to seduce my boyfriend.
 
I didn't exactly know what to do, so I just made sure to shave my underarms and legs, put on a matching set of underwear and made sure that he had condoms.

It was like before me he was just always prepared. In the closet, behind his extensive rack of brand new blazers, I found an extra large stash of them, and though I knew, I refused to think about why.

. . .

Axel was quiet as we lay in bed, not acknowledging my presence, until I straddled him, before using the position to connect our lips.

He was tense at first, as expected and pulled away to read my face, finding no hint of fear or reluctance in my expression, he reconnected our lips.

Feeling slightly more confident as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, I momentarily pulled away from Axel to yank my bra over my head, not bothering to unhook it.

"What are you doing?" Axel asked, licking his lips as he stared directly at my chest.

I blushed slightly, casting my eyes downward before whispering, "I want you."

"What do you mean?" Axel sounded slightly unsure, in a way that showed he knew the answer already.

"Axel, I want you to take my virginity," I stated calmly.There I said it. This is it.

"But—" I cut him off by reattaching our lips and making fumbling attempts to untie his sweatpants.

"Baby wait—" Axel said, grabbing my hands.

"You don't need to ask me if I'm sure about this Axel, I want this," I assured him as I continued tugging at his sweatpants.

"No, you need to stop," Axel growled frustratedly, pushing me off of him.

Tears began to prick my eyes and feeling completely rejected, unwanted, and humiliated, I wrapped my arms around my chest to cover myself before walking to my old room.

"Freddi wait!"

I don't understand men. Axel was hard, I could feel it, and he definitely couldn't have been insecure about being little, because I could also feel that he was huge.

Slamming the door of my old bedroom, I sat on the bed before flopping down and bawling into the unreasonably fluffy pillow.

He thinks I'm a nerd. I'm a stupid little virgin that he only keeps around to protect her from her dad.