We Were Blue // Completed

31//

"There are two reasons why people don't talk about things; either it doesn't mean anything to them, or it means everything."

-Luna Adriana

* * *

Black.

That's all there is.

It surrounds me, an abyss that is seemingly never-ending. Consuming my whole being as I fumble for some source of light.

I find it as the air sweeps the curtain away from the window, showering the room in the warm illuminance of the street lamps rays. Sitting up on the squeaky bed, my stomach jumbles and my head pounds like I'm being hit repeatedly with a tire iron.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, nausea hits me like a wave- overwhelming and urgent. As I stumble toward the bathroom, the sound of my own blood rushing to my head is the only thing I can hear. Falling into the creaky door, it gives in immediately and I make a beadline for the toilet.

I collapse onto the cold tile, my body aching with every move I make. "Fuck." I mumble. Suddenly the sound of water turning off comes to my attention and the brightness of the room becomes strikingly obvious. How didn't I notice I wasn't alone?

A hand shoots out from behind the shower curtain and grabs one of the towels. Moments later Roman emerges with the very same towel wrapped around his waist loosely. His wet hair falls in tangles over his eyes as they observe my pathetic form on the floor. "Ya know babe if you wanted to see me naked, you could've just asked."

Leaning my head against the wall, I let my eyes fall close. "Fuck off." I can't help but want Roman's soft touch, his fingers messaging my head as he whispers that everything will be okay. His gaze burns my skin, I can feel it's heat without even opening my eyes, funny how that works.

I swallow down another wave of nausea. "Stop looking at me like that." All knowing, like there's not a single mystery in the world he doesn't know the answer to. 

I crack my eyes open to watch him take a step back at the statement as if he's caught off guard. "Like what?" I shift so my legs are tucked into my chest before wrapping my arms around them.

"Like I'm a puzzle you solved a long time ago." Confusion topples onto his features and I like it. I like the fact that for once he doesn't have all the answers, and more than anything I think I like that it was me that caused him to feel this way. 

He takes a single step forward before coming to an abrupt halt like he regrets even taking the movement. Shaking his head, he looks away from me to observe himself in the misty mirror. "Felicity you couldn't be anymore wrong." That's all he gives me before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 

His words repeat over and over making me feel even dizzier in the head then I already do. And for a moment I think maybe it's not just Julian I should be cautious about. Because I can't stop thinking about the way Roman's lips felt on mine, and his fingers trailing over my skin- like fire and ice at the same time. 

Julian could get me killed, but Roman could destroy my heart without even meaning to. And the thing about a broken heart is that you can't escape the turmoil it brings in it's wake, and you're still breathing but you almost wish you weren't if it meant the pain in your chest would fade to nothingness. 

And sometimes I think being six feet under would be less painful than pretending that everything is okay again. That my heart doesn't pull when I he crosses my mind, or that sometimes my chest hurts so bad I might as well not be breathing at all.