We Were Blue // Completed

32//

"Just because it's not what you were expecting, doesn't mean it's not everything you've been waiting for."

- Unknown 

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Naked trees blur past us outside the window, they look so bare without their leaves giving them company. They look how I feel- lost and lonely with only time to bloom their colors again. It's no doubt we zoom past with a speed high above the set limit. Roman likes it fast.. Yet unlike the fear that settled in my veins when Damon accelerated us home due to anger, I feel completely safe in the hands of Roman.

Roman pushes harder on the gas pedal. Fast, fast, fast. "What will happen if Julian finally catches up to us?" His jaw clenches and his spine becomes straighter instantly. A smile forms on his lips yet it doesn't seem to reach his eyes and there's a certain bitterness lurking in the creases.

All at once it hits me how scared he is too, the only difference is he's trying his damnest to hide it from me. Maybe for my sake, maybe for his. "I don't know Fel, and I don't really want to find out." Neither of us mention the unsaid truth- that Julian's men are bound to catch up to us sooner or later, it's inevitable. We're living in a fantasy, but if that's what it takes to help us hold onto our sanity than so be it.

I lean back and look over at him, and God I want to know everything about him. All the scars creeping upon his body from childhood adventures, the freckles littering his skin from too much sun exposure. What makes his blood boil, red hot and dangerous, and what makes his ice eyes dazzle with excitement.

I'm falling in love with him, I can feel it happening as I stare at the profile of his face. As I watch the sun dip into the curve of his lips and carve his cheekbones even sharper. I felt it as he held my hair back as I let all the continents in my stomach go. It was unleashed the moment his lips met mine in a feverish fury- hungry and passionate and all too longing to be simply nothing.

But the kiss isn't what began this fire inside me, no, it's just what brought it to my attention. I don't know when it happened and maybe I never will, but it fucking sucks because I can't have him but God I want him so bad. I wish I could write it off as purely physical attraction, like what I feel toward Julian but I'd be lying to myself. There's something much much more here.

And maybe I want him even more because he's Damon's brother. It's fucked up, but I've always wanted what I can't have and Roman couldn't be any more untouchable. I shouldn't want someone because I can't have them, he's not some toy on the play ground, he's a human being.

His lip twitches upward, a hint of his dimple peaking out. "Fel, you're staring." I shrug my shoulder and don't look away.

"I know." He shakes his head in amusement and at last I finally pull my eyes away. I don't want to, I want to study his features like I have a quiz in an hour, but any longer might be on the verge of creepy.

The sign welcoming us to Missouri enters our path. "Welcoming to Missouri babe, I hope you enjoy your stay." He slides his sunglasses down his nose so I can see his icy orbs and winks at me. It's so boyish and charming and even reminds me of an actor playing a part in an eighties movie.

My insides turn to goo for a second, but it's a second too fucking long because this shouldn't be happening. He leans lazily in his seat, looking content unlike me who feels like my whole body is on overdrive. One hand lays on the steering wheel and the other rests on the door beside him.

For some reason I've always thought boys look so much more attractive when driving, and in this case that's a very very bad thing. "When was the last time you visited your Grams?" I glance away, I really have to stop staring at him like some love sick school girl.