Ch. 13

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The next few days after that incident, the boys started treating me like a friend. They acknowledge me in public , they eat with me during lunch, and they sit next to me in class. They don't do it all the time though. I'm not important enough to waste a reputation on.

Lennon and Emma have been hanging out with other friends, so I'm back to eating alone to during lunch. They've made friends with the artsy people. Those good in drawing, acting, singing, etc.

Over all, everything is back to normal. I'm  alone again with no friends. The bad boys are badder than ever because rumor spread around about what happened to Justin. Everything is back to the way it is.

That was until Jaxon made a show of dragging me outside by the hand. He shoved everyone to the side and dragged me behind him. He didn't let go of my hand until I was inside the car.

I wanted to groan in frustration. Just as I thought that I was finally moving on, he goes amd does this. He goes and holds my hand for the longest time. Great. Just great.
God moving on is so hard.

"What was that?" I ask

"We need your help" Jaxon says

That's when it hit me. I realized that these guys only ever come to me for help. They've been nice to me because they know faking it won't work anymore. They're my "friends" cause they can get something out of it. The only time they ever talk to me is when they need something from me. It's always "we need your help" or "We need some information".

That really hurts, knowing that the only reason they're trying to be friends with you is because they need something from you. They talk to you cause they need something. You're nothing to them.

I was so sick and tired of being used. I was so sick and tired of trying to be a part of something.

Flashaback

"We're gonna be best friends forever,right girls?" One of the little girls in the group says

The rest cheers, and each of them put their hands together in the middle of their circle. Little Kindergarten Harley tries to squeeze in and put her own hand in the middle. She stood in between her two bestest friends.

One of her best friends looked at her in annoyance.

"Harleyy moveee. You're not part of this circle." Says one of them

"Yeah! This is only for us. You're not friends with these girls anyways, so you can't be in the best friend group" The other says

"Oh...okay..."

And so Little Harley walked to the swings and sat alone while her two best friends played with their new friends.

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.
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"Hey!!" The third grade Harley greeted her best friend for three years. They've been together since Grade 1. Today, her best friend was excitedly talking to another girl.

"Oh. Hi Harley! Harley this is my friend from Kinder!!" Her best friend says as she slings her arm on the other girl

"Hi! Nice to meet you!!" Harley greets the girl cheerily

The two girls skip off together to play with their dolls. Harley walks behind them at all times. She could never get in between them or beside them.

Harley got so desperate to be a part of them that she asked them

"Hey guys, I can carry your bags for you!"

"Okay, here. Be careful not to drop them. My daddy bought those dolls for me and it's really expensive." Her best friend says as she shoves her bag full of dolls to Harley's arms.

From a third wheel, Harley became their slaves. They used her as a slave.

In 4th grade, her friends left her for their other best friend that left for Australia. They used her as a temporary friend.

In 7th grade, her best friends ,who she helped overcome in overcoming depression, left her for their boyfriends and popularity. They used her for her advice, help, care, non judgemental, good listening personality.

In 8th grade, her friend left her because she wasn't as smart as her. She used Harley as a way to not seem like a loner nerd.

In 10th grade, Harley had stopped trying to get into a group of friends. She remained alone and by herself. All her life, her friends kept leaving her. No matter what she did, she was always left alone.

Her parents, grandparents,friends, and many more people in her life leave her.

She was and always will be alone. She knew that now. She's accepted it.

End of Flashback

Tears threatened to spill as I recalled all the memories. I try to blink them away, but it doesn't work. One by one, the tears start to fall.

"No." I speak up. They look at me in confusion.

"I am no longer going to give you your information ever again. I am not going to let you just use me like this."  I say. I open the door and got out. I looked up at them for the first time. Their eyes widen at my tear filled eyes.

"To think I actually saw you guys as friends. How pathetic and stupid can I be? Obviously you're being nice cause you want something. It's always like that. I'm so stupid." I laugh humorlessly

"I know you don't actually like me. It's okay. Stop trying to be friends with me if you don't like me."

"Even though it was fake, you guys were really fun to hang out with..." I smile lightly as I spoke my thoughts.

"Goodbye" I smile at them one last time before running away.

This was finally it. I was finally all alone in this world. I can definitely say that no one would care if I left. No one would care if I died.

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