19. Sincerely, I am so sorry

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I didn't tell you something that happened yesterday. I've been trying to ignore it but sometimes if you write something down, it makes it seems 'okay'.

I know it is not okay, what I did and said. I'd like to blame it on my parents, say how the morning of they had another fight but I can't blame them.

They didn't tell me to tell my friend to trip that girl at lunch, the girl with golden skin, the girl who had been with Soren in a tree. I didn't know she'd completely crash into her own food.

She didn't look at me and I am glad because I wasn't prepared. It was only then when she was a few feet away from me that I realised she was the bird girl, the girl who had sat with Soren behind the school.

I had slid down in my own seat when she pulled herself off the ground, just praying she didn't look at me, didn't see the guilt I felt. It wasn't meant for her, the one person I'd seen help Soren. It was meant for the girl who had taken his attention on camp — too bad they were the same person.

A few things happened that I didn't expect to within seconds. One; the girl didn't look at me but rather at someone across the room, to where I turned to see Soren meeting her gaze.

Two; the two McKinin twins rushed to her aid and practically hid the girl from the phone eyes.

Three; To my own sheer surprise, I began to raise off my seat. I knew without a doubt, my body was moving towards the girl. I needed to help her. She was helping HIM — I needed to thank her, tell her that I didn't mean to.

Scott, the boy of Friday, gripped my wrist tightly and then with the other hand like chains burning to my body he snaked an arm around my waist and yanked me down.

He words still haunting me, "Don't bother, Neena. You can't catch the bullet once you've pulled the trigger. Anyways, the McKinin brothers have got it."

I wanted to take it back, I didn't mean it. Not her, she was doing good things. She was helping people — him.

If you ever read this, I am so sorry.

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