59. for soren

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Hey Soren,
I saw your name on the list the nurse held when she came to move me. I hope you're okay, I hope you aren't here because you lost hope.

I asked her to give you this book.

If you have time, could you pass this onto my parents? I would be very much thankful.

I want you to know that everything that happened to me, everything you read — none of it was anything of your fault. I don't want you to worry about me, about anything that happened to me.


Don't hurt the people that hurt me.
I don't want to cause anyone harm.


I saw you. I saw how sad you became — depressed. And I worried about you, and I wanted to help you. But, you can't teach someone to love themselves when you, yourself, don't love who you are.

So I didn't say anything and for that I deeply regret. I hope you can forgive me.

Oh and Soren?

I found out through everything that we aren't really meant to search for happiness as everyone says we should. We are meant to search to be of value.

To be of value is to help someone, to make them laugh, to make them feel loved.

Thank you for reading, stay alive.
Stay Gold.

If I had my time again... I would love whoever I wanted, I would eat whatever I wanted. And, you know, I think I would plant more flowers.

Sincerely,
Neena Eelante

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