Chaotic Hearts | ✓

15 | knight

A / N

Dedicating this chapter to KamakshiSardesai who is an amazing soul :) thank you for reading my book.

Also, I am going to be dedicating a chapter each to the people who read my book because it honestly means a lot and I think this way, I yell you how grateful I feel.

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15 | knight

THERE WERE FEW and fleeting moments those days when Anika truly found herself happy. That day was turning out to be the best so far. It began with her asking Shivaay if they could go out sometime and he had readily agreed. In fact, he brought her to the tiny coffee place–which felt like a safe haven–and they had talked freely. She talked a lot, something she didn't do often. But it had turned out, Shivaay Singh Oberoi was an easy person to talk to.

He shared a few interests as hers. Like their mutual love for coffee, or for the classic novel that was Pride and Prejudice. It was little things that made Anika feel comfortable. She loved how she could talk to him so comfortably, their knees and hands brushing occasionally. It made her feel good, made her feel like she fit in. She didn't need to think before speaking, she could say whatever she had on her mind without calculating what his reaction might be. Talking about the things she loved set her free, even if that moment was transient, slipping away from her very fingers.

And as Shivaay let go of her hand to take a call, Anika felt that freedom slip away.

It was irony at its finest.

She flashed him a smile that didn't reach her eyes when he told her he had some work and would be away for the next of the day. He must have noticed her dull eyes–not that they weren't dull to begin with, but not the point, Anika thought–because he shot her a small smile and kissed the top of her forehead. His lips barely skimmed her skin but the rush of shiver that ran down her spine was unmistakable. And it made her look forward to seeing him already even though he was right in front of her. He pulled away lethargically and his one hand cupped her cheek. A smile crawled up-to his face and Anika knew it was because this was the first time she hadn't pulled away from the gentle touch. His hand stroked her cheek lightly and his voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “I’ll be back soon. Take care, yeah?”

Anika smiled and she memorised the way his eyes shone when he smiled and how there was this slightest bit of dimple on his cheek. It wasn't very prominent but it was there. It was only due to Anika’s intrinsic nature of observing thing she noticed the slightest dip in his cheek. She stood a little on her tip toes and poked the area, laughing when Shivaay winced and said, “Geez, woman, cut those nails. They are positively vicious.”

She laughed, a sweet and soft melodic voice as she watched the whiny expression on Shivaay's face. Who knew Shivaay Singh Oberoi the renowned business who people felt scared of could be so whiny and childlike?

Anika’s name wasn't on the list.

Amused giggles spilled through her lips and she couldn't hold it inside. But then she felt his gaze on her and she met his alluring, strikingly greenish blue eyes. Raw motions shone in those eyes and his intense gaze rendered Anika speechless. She felt unnerved and feeling self conscious, she reached and tucked her hair behind her ear. “What?” Her eyes cast downwards and she bit her cheek.

“Nothing, it’s just you are so beautiful, love.”

She froze, her breath hitching in her throat and Anika gulped hard. She was positively scared to look up and find insincerity in his eyes because as much as she wanted to believe he was saying the truth, Anika couldn't bring herself to.

She wasn't pretty from any angle. Rather…

Don't think about it or the dam is going to break here, you don't want that Anika, she thought to herself and sucked in her cheek.

Anika didn't used to be so uncomfortable with her appearance. Yes, she used to doubt the things she said but never her body.

She was quickly learning that she could bear the hate people threw at her but dealing with the hate she had for her herself was a much difficult job.

Her knees literally felt weak, so much she actually stumbled back but Shivaay’s arm was around her waist in a moment. “Hey there? You okay?” he asked, caressing her cheek. He tried to get her to look into his eyes but she refused to meet his eyes. Anika had never been more thankful to anything empty elevator than she was in those moments.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mumbled shakily and tried to get back on her feet but they felt jelly like. Shivaay shook his head.

“Stubborn woman, why can't you admit it when you need help, love?” He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to their flat as Anika looped her arms around him. She buried her face in the crevice of his shoulder and didn't even look up when the family members called out to her, she only acted like she was fast asleep.

But she knew she was fooling everyone but Shivaay. He could, of course, feel her heart beating at an inhuman pace. He could feel her clammy palms around his neck so Anika knew it was hopeless trying to fake it in front of him. But he acted like he bought her act even though they both knew he didn't. He shushed his family and silently made his way to their room.

He gently laid her down on the bed and tucked her in. He was just about to leave when Anika clasped her hand around his and tugged at his wrist. “Stay,” she whispered, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. He didn't say anything only nodded and then said, “lemme get a chair.”

But Anika shook her head in a firm no, “don't. Lie down with me.” He was quiet for a few moments but then he laid down in the space she had created for him. As he did, she cuddled up to his side and her silent tears soaked his shirt. He didn't question her and Anika felt so grateful in those moments more than she could ever word.

What he had said struck a chord but Anika knew, she would choose his side over and over again.

And with that thought, she fell asleep.

If there was one thing everyone knew about Shivaay Singh Oberoi, it was the fact he would anything–literally anything–for his wife. She could ask him the world and he would give it to her. She could ask him his life and he would not miss a beat. The lady owned his heart. The things she did to it. Shivaay could feel her fingertips on his jaw, sliding and caressing, the soft caress of her lips on his and how his heart was always on the verge of exploding from all the love he had for her.

She could break his heart and he would still love her with the broken pieces left.

And it pained. It pained him to see her cry silently. It broke him from within. It was like someone had already plunged a knife in his chest and now it twisted painfully everytime she cried. She was his weakness and strength all the same and Shivaay didn't know how to be her strength. She was always there for him, helping him in his every step even if she was not there and even when Shivaay so desperately wanted to be there for her, he couldn't.

He couldn't be her knight in the shining armour.

He ran his fingers through her hair and her intoxicating smell clouded his senses. She was so strong, so beautiful and on the other hand, he was nothing but a pitiful human being.

He wanted to wipe away her tears when she cried against his chest, cuddled up into his side but he didn't. For one, he didn't have the courage. Two, he, somewhere deep down, knew that she was bottling emotions and she needed to let go.

So when she fell asleep in his arms, her breaths evening out, Shivaay felt a surge of relied race through him. He watched her tears soaked face and eased up the creases in her brows. Because it hurt to see the once shy, sweet and bubbly Anika turn into this woman who didn't her true value.

And as his fingers rinsed over the scars on her body, he knew why he couldn't be her knight in the shining armour.

Simply, because she was a knight herself, fighting battles herself. She was her own hero and all she needed was a little love.

Shivaay was all for that.