Chaotic Hearts | ✓

19 | insecurities

A / N

I am not sure if I like this chapter. The start is okay but then? I don't know. I feel like I am repeating the same things over and over again. I don't know if I do a good job with this story or not. Especially Anika's character. She is really important to me and I constantly feel like I don't do justice to her character.

Do you feel the same?

Dedicated to MJDD96

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

19 | insecurities

“WHAT THE ACTUAL–”

But Ankit Malhotra's swear was cut off midway as Shivaay grabbed his collar. “Oh, no, young man,” he said, “you don't get to say anything right now. So you better seal that mouth,” He said, “You cannot just text me you want us to mend our fucking friendship back together. Oh, you don't. You can't just expect me to take you back with open arms.” He yelled, his voice breaking.

“But I do,” Ankit whispered. “That's what you do, Shivaay. You always accept me back no matter what. Do it one more time, bro. Just one more time. I promise you I won't let you down.”

“Do you have any idea how much it hurt when my best friend–the one I have known ever since I was a kid–, my brother literally just asked me to fuck off and leave him alone? Even when I tried everything in my power to help him, he says he doesn't want me anymore. You broke me, Malhotra. In ways nobody could,” Shivaay whispered, his voice wavering and he fought to keep himself together.

“I am sorry, Shivaay. I really am but mom's death broke me and in that time, I was mad at this world. At everything and anything. I just wanted to lash out and it came out on you.” Ankit closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

It earned him a punch. Ankit stumbled back, clutching his gut.

“Oh, you think your mom's death didn't affect me?” Shivaay said tersely and he didn't miss how Ankit flinched. “That woman was just as much as my mother as she was yours. We grew up together, you and I. We went to school together, did everything together. I could've helped you, Ankit. We could've have gone through this together but you chose something else over me. I don't know if I can choose you after that. I want to but I don't know if I can.”

“Shivaay, please,” Ankit was pleading, all but begging Shivaay. “Please, it's not too late. We can work it out. Hit me all you want but don't leave me. Please, I beg you, Shivaay.” He hiccuped and folded his hands in front of Shivaay.

“You bleeding idiot.” There was punch. “Couldn't you have realized this sooner?” And then Shivaay was pulling Ankit in his arms. “You still owe me that milkshake.” Ankit chuckled and Shivaay felt his shirt soak with tears. That only made him tighten his arms around Ankit. “You ever think of leaving me, I'll make sure you can't walk away. I'll break your legs before you do that.”

“I won't Shivaay. I am never making that mistake ever again,” Ankit breathed.

Meanwhile, Anika walked up the stairs after a long walk in the park.  She clicked the doorbell and waited for somebody to open the door. It was Naina who greeted her, “Surprise!” She pulled Anika in a hug and the smile on her face widened. “I missed you, Di.” But Anika wasn't listening, she was peeking over her shoulders and desperately searching for the man who loved her to the moon and back.

So imagine how her heart plummeted when she didn't see her dad waiting to embrace her.

She pulled out of the hug and rushed inside. “How have you been doing? And how's Lakshya?” Not the time to bawl your eyes out young woman, stay calm. But it proved harder to do that. Tears pricked at her eyes and she was trembling. It was like being dragged down in a quicksand and the more she tried to fight, the more quickly she sunk. Not even two hours since she thought she was going to do okay but the world didn't want her to. It was as if gods knew she couldn't do better so why let her try?