There are so many things you can do with your life
I didn't know what to do with mine
I didn't even wanted to try
All I wanted was to let my life behindAll I wanted was to make decisions I won't regret
All I saw made me think there wouldn't be enough time
To do all things I want to experience in my lifeI ran away
I felt a void
I was scared
I fear too many thingsSo many things I wanna learn
I wanted to do it all
But I said I didn't want to liveI loved my life but hated to live
When I thought it makes sense
I looked at the things
I looked at the people
But what is with me?
I searched for a talent but all I got was the feeling of being emptyI thought I don't worth it
Nobody needs me
Maybe my family
But when I grow up who would still need me
I could just disappear
I could just run away from my fearsI cried a lot
Not understanding what I feel
I didn't understand myself
What do my tears mean when I am happy today?
Why does it hurt when it's just psychical painHow does it feel to be alive when it feels like I am dead
How do I feel?All I was doing felt so unnecessary
School seemed useless when I just could throw my life awayFor my later life all I need was to study to work , to get money
All I need to do is to work all my life , for a good job
That's normal
But it tears me apart
So all we are doing is working for live that's the only senseGrades
Friends
Family
What will remain
When we all will forget
We all will live onBut why did I feel forgotten when life was happening around me
I was surrounded by reasons to liveI didn't found my place yet
And I didn't thought I ever willI thought what I feel wouldn't count
'Cause there are people who feel much worseAll I wanted was to be left out
All the bad things that happen in the world
I can't change them
But I am part of it when I am alive
It's another decision to makeMy chest hurt so much these days
The losing of people you love
Friendships that break apart
I didn't feel well
My eyes saw the hell
But did they really?
There are much worse things than I was inI didn't want to be alive
There's so much pain that's the thing which remains
I could just die
Fast , today
I didn't know what keeps me alive
I still don't know
All I know is that I can't explainIf I could I wouldn't feel the things I am feeling for a while now
If I could...
If I could I would change the world with words
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
PoetryPoetry♠️♥️♣️♦️ (Please don't copy. All texts are written by me and belong to me.)