𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀✔️

TWENTYSEVEN|CHAOS

I stared into the eyes of the girl in the mirror.
Her eyes were a brilliant shade of lilac, but they were dead inside. Behind the veil there was nothing, a vast and echoing emptiness.

She had found salvation in the bottom of a glass. She had been far too young when she'd had her first taste, only twelve years old, and now.. Now she was addicted, because that's the way she was, she had always been that way.

She had an addictive personality, she found pleasure in the little things, and then she clung onto them. She held onto them until her fingers bled and their nature turned toxic.

Maybe that's why she foolishly held onto Daniel.

Maybe he truly did love her at first, but it wasn't long until rough sex turned into an excuse to beat the shit out of her. Hair pulling turned to choking, and that soon turned to punches.

But still she clung on.

She held on for so long she forgot what love felt like. She thought that this was ok, that this was acceptable.

She was stupid enough to believe that this was how he showed his love, through heavy hands and open wounds.

Every cursed word that came from his mouth she believed, she ate it up, hoping to fill the empty void that echoed within her at the loss of her mother and sister.

***

Sleep didn't come easy to me that night.
Maybe it was the lumpy motel bed, or maybe it was the piercing grey eyes that haunted my dreams.

I sighed as the scalding water beat down upon my skull. I let it cleanse me, washing away my sins from other days. I would be reborn again, to face another demon. I had escaped Daniel, I had even escaped Greyson... For now.

I had been foolish to believe that they would let me go. Instead I was now faced with a far more imminent and much more terrifying problem.

I stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off the rack and rapping it around myself. My wet white hair fell lank to my waist, I pushed it aside.

I felt sick to my stomach, the wound on my shoulder was vile shade of purple, the tendrils of veins hadn't reached out any further, in a strange way they almost seemed to have receded. They now only stretched as far as the trough of my collar bone and the top of the flesh of my left breast.

Maybe I was dying.
Who knows.

Who cares.
Not me right now, I had more pressing matters to worry about.

I dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of ripped grey jeans and a black sweatshirt. For breakfast I pulled out the slice of carrot cake from my jeans I had worn the day before that lay discarded on the floor.

I unwrapped it from the napkin, it was slightly squished but I was far too hungry to care.

I ate it in two bites, yet still the empty growling persisted In the pit of my stomach.

I had scraped together barely enough cash to stay at the motel for two more nights, then I would have to be off again, living out of my car.
With the last remaining pennies I had stockpiled imperishables, such as bottled water and cans of whatever I could get my hands on.

I packed them into the footwell and on the seat of the passenger seat.

Before I left, I would take whatever blankets and pillows I could from the motel and then I would drive north, I hadn't decided where exactly yet, maybe I would travel far enough up the country and end up at the mountains, where I could live a low-key life surrounded by trees and shit.

Maybe not.

I pulled out the wrinkled map I had retrieved earlier from the glove box of Daniels truck, spreading it out over the squat oak coffee table and smoothing out the creases.

My finger followed the thin line of a road, until it landed on the nearest city.

Adovan.

I mulled over my options for a minute, I was far more likely to be found in a motel than I was on the move.

However I had to settle somewhere, to rebuild.

Viva post mortem.

The real question was, was the likely hood of my being found higher in a lonesome log cabin in the middle of the styx, or a densely populated city.

I felt safer in a city, plenty of people around if anything were to...Happen.

Andovan was a few days drive northwest of here. Even if I spent my days scrounging pennies and living out of the truck, anything was better than my life with Daniel.

It was just such a shame that I had been so blind up until now.

-Better late than never.

I folded the map neatly, tucking it onto my pocket.

I would not end up like my mother, beaten and trodden down. If she had to die, let it be for something. -For a better life.

***
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