Transcendence (A Muslim-Christian Story)

Chapter 1: Everyday

[Yumna as Ameerah]

I think I've probably been awake for the past hour and I've kept stirring in my bed, hoping to fall asleep again.
After several failed attempts of finding a cozy posture, I sigh, and grab my phone from the side table to check the time: 4:23 am, still an hour more till Fajr.

I push the covers away from me and get up, trying to direct my frustration towards something useful, like by performing my Tahajjud prayers. My imaan (faith) has been an all time low since the past 5 months or so and I just can't seem to pinpoint how to get back up.

I switch on the light and turn to my right and read the dua on my post-it on the wall which is to be read if you wake up in the middle of the night;

لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ ، وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ ، سُبْحَانَ اللهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلهِ ، وَلَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَاللهُ أَكْـبَرُ ، وَلَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللهِ الْعَلِيِّ الْعَظِيمِ رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِي
Laa ilaaha ill-Allaahu waḥdahu laa shareeka lah, lahul-mulku wa lahul-ḥamd, wa huwa ‛alaa kulli shay'in qadeer, subḥaan-Allahi wal-ḥamdu lillaah, wa laa ilaaha ill-Allaahu wAllaahu akbar, wa laa ḥawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaahil-‛aliyyil-‛aẓeem, rabbigh-fir lee

'None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, alone and with no partner, to Him belongs [all] sovereignty and praise, and He is able to do all things; How far from imperfections Allah is, and all praise is for Allah, and none has the right to be worshipped except Allah, Allah is the greatest, and there is no power nor might except with Allah, The Most High, The Supreme. Oh my Lord, forgive me!"

I brush my teeth, make wudu, and start my prayers.
And then I make dua, starting with praising Allah, then the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم and then mentally crossing one by one after repeating each of my duas thrice (as it's Sunnah) in my extremely long dua list.

By the time I'm done with praying Fajr, it's already 6 am. I'm highly energized and feel like taking a run.
So I quickly put on a loose below-knee tunic over my long sleeved T-shirt and jogging pants and wrap my hijab, dashing out.
The cold wind hits me and I'm overtaken by a sense of calm as I look around and take in the beauty in front of me. "SubhanAllah!" is all I can say.

Now today was an ideal day, and an ideal me. I wish I could be like this everyday.

Let's just say, to put in easy words, I'm quite wild. Following a routine is kind of tough for me. One week I'm all like, "Oh yes! Time to make a difference! Let's get my crap together and go change the world!"

And 3 days later, I'm back to being my unproductive self, binge-eating, binge sleeping, binge Wattpading and binge watching animated cartoons or clean movies.
Oh, did I mention I binge do everything? Like literally, everything! There is no such thing as doing only once. Hell, I even go to empty my alimentary canal thrice (that's called defecating in layman's term. Or maybe taking a dump). Oops, TMI, my bad.