YOONMIN : Beautiful encounter

Part 21

Yoongi: The death

December 2017

Jonghyun died.

Everything was going great - we were famous all over the world, had tons of money we couldn't really spend, were close as ever and so happy it hurt, but Jonghyun died.

The boy I hated as he was kissing my ex goodbye every day, holding his hand and probably doing lots of other cheesy things - he was dead.

The man I learned to respect because he was doing all the things right - he made suicide.

It was 2 AM when I was woken up by the sound of shouts and sobbing, then Jin's soft crying and begging for help.

So 8 hours.

8 hours ago it was all normal - we finished practice at 10, Jin made dinner and then we went to bed.

8 fucking hours ago my life was perfect, well not really, but damn close, and so was Jimin's.

I couldn't even think of the things Jimin must've felt as he received a call so late at night, saying his boyfriend of 4 years died. Even if I didn't want to know, I couldn't not hear the way his voice broke pathetically in the middle of his screams and shouts of longing - he was devastated. My heart hurt again for that small gentle boy after so long.

N-no, I don't care.

I never care.

I tried to fill my thoughts with the images of Jimin being annoying and clingy, but all I could think of was his cute little face when he cried, pitiful tears streaming down the chubby cheeks and over his upper quivering lip. I felt a huge lump in my stomach. The image was so fucking annoying I wanted to punch someone.

My limbs were shaking uncontrollably as I reached for the doorknob and slowly opened the door. Jimin's room was down the hall, his door bright pink and covered in small pictured of him and Tae.

Jin suddenly flew by me, his eyes puffy and blood red from crying.

"He's having a panic attack," he whispered and then wiped his tears before knocking gently and entering.

A cold hand reached in my chest and squeezed my heart so hard I could barely feel it. It hurt so bad.

It hurts so bad.

Before I could resist it, my legs were reducing the distance between us, desperately wanting to ... what even?

What was I trying to do?

I stopped with my hand stretched out and hesitated. He didn't even want to see me, let alone let me comfort him. I wasn't a part of his life anymore, at least not that big. I didn't deserve it.

I threw my head back in a silent groan, sliding down slowly by the wall and then hid my face between the knees. A loud crash of breaking glass echoed through our house, followed by Jimin's sobs and Tae's shushing.

"Jimin! What are you doing?"

Jin's voice was quiet so he didn't scare Jimin but I could hear the strong panic in his tone.

"It's alright, it's okay. Calm down, sweetie, I'll go clean this up."

There was a quiet sniffle and then Tae stumbled out of the room, looking tired and wretched like he just got into a dangerous fight. I snapped my head up to ask him about it but got stopped by a hand on my shoulder and a worried expression.

"Hyung," he whispered as he leaned closer.

"H-hyung, are you ... c-crying?"

I wiped my face with lightning speed, realizing I was indeed letting this useless water run down my cheeks.