Finding Hope

7

Jenifers POV

Pure rage.

I've seen him angry, but I've never seen him as angry as he is right now.

"Sebastian stop." I wrap my arms around his torso. He can't attack Logan if I'm attached to him.

"Get out." He shouts and Logan takes no time before storming out of the house.

"Hudson." I speak up but he's already leading everyone else out of the room.

"Michelle now." I shout as she refuses to follow Hudson's orders. Thankfully she listens to me and they leave, but I still have to deal with an Alpha who is the angriest I've ever seen him.

"Bash this is our home." I remind him as he pulls me off of him and goes to punch a wall.

"He's your best friend, this is our home and he's family." I beg but shakes his head.

"Sebastian, look at me. It's me, your mate, please calm down." He finally gets his hands on my beautiful painted wall and creates a hole.

"Sebastian Michael Reese, your daughter is upstairs. Milo is upstairs trying to sleep and I'm sure she'd love her daddy to read her a bedtime story." I grab onto him arm.

"Sebastian your daughter." I scream and that's when he leans against the wall and catches his breath.

"There's no saving him." His hands go to his hips and he stays still for a few moments before dropping to the ground. "I can't get him back Jen. He's gone."

"Who? Who is gone?"

"Jen I can't. I've tried for a year, but he can't do it anymore. He's too far gone."

"Sebastian nobody is too far gone."

"Logan is." He hiccups before pushing his fist into the floor. "I can't get him back. We've tried so hard to get him back, but he has no will left."

"That's my brother and I can't save him. He's my best friend and I can't get him back."

"I don't know if you remember what it was like before Milo was born but you were so gone and Logan told me how bad it was. You never wanted me to see you like that but I knew. I called him and he told me. He thought you were too far gone, but he didn't give up on you. He made sure you got back to this version of you. The version that is an incredible leader and amazing father. He didn't quit on you and you aren't gonna quit on him. I won't let you quit on him and nobody else in this house will quit on him. If someone in this house wants to quit on him they can move out because I'm only allowing positive energy in this home. He will get better and we will find his mate."

"I thought if I threatened his position it would stop him. I thought it would make him question his decisions."

"And I understand that, but right now I have to go find him and Hudson is gonna go find Tommy. I need you to go sit with Milo and realize how much beautiful life we have and how Logan is gonna have that too. Please."

"I'm sorry about the wall."

"It isn't a big deal. That's fixable." I remind him and he nods before going upstairs.

"You three better fucking behave while we're gone." I threatened the girls and Garrett and they nods furiously. I grab Hudson and we walk outside into the cold.

"I know Logan is your twin, but let me handle this one. You get Tommy."

"Are you sure?" He asks and I nod in agreement. "I trust your judgement." He pats me on the back and I head to the one place I can think of.

The woods where I ran off to after my wolf sensed Bash that first day here.

"Did you know that Sebastian and I sat on that tree stump and he refused to touch me?" I speak up as I get closer to him and he rolls his eyes. "It's true. I thought he wasn't interested at first because he wouldn't even come close to me."

"No, he just didn't know how to act. He's always been like that around girls."

"I never got to know him as a teenager or as anything other than an Alpha. I wish I got to know you guys before things got serious."

"We were too wild. It's for your safety that you didn't know us then." He laughs and I take a seat before leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I'm a mom now. I have a kid." I laugh.

"Didn't think that would happen so quick now did ya?" He teases and I shake my head.

"No I didn't expect it but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"You're a good mom Jen."

"Which is why my mommy instincts are kicking in and they're telling me that you need to let me help you. Let Sebastian and I help you through this. I know seeing Michelle and Garrett is a kick in the teeth, but we gotta get you through this. I won't give up on you and neither will Bash."

"She's dead."

"What are you talking about?" I sit back up straight and he bites his bottom lip.

"I felt it." He gets out the words before falling into tears. "I felt her wolf die. I don't know where she was or who she was, but I felt her wolf die. I know my mate died and I can't do anything about it. I shouldn't still be alive."

"Logan why didn't you tell me? We could've spoken about this."

"Because I've known for so long and I couldn't tell Bash. I've known since you got pregnant."

"Logan how are you still functioning?"

"Because I can't give up my beta position. It's all I have left but I couldn't take it anymore. I had to swing at him. I have to give up the position anyway, I might as well punch Garrett one last time."

"But Logan." I try to stop him but he places his hand on my thigh and gives it a squeeze.

"It's Hudson's position now and I'm okay with that. I'm okay Jenifer." He assures me but I shake my head. "Jenny, kid, don't cry. It's okay. I got to live a really wonderful 26 years. I got to be the cool sidekick to Bash for the past eight of those and I got to fight in battles for my family." He says triumphantly. "I got to be an uncle."

"Why are you talking like you aren't gonna be around another twenty six years? Why are you acting like you're not still gonna be an uncle. Logan you're supposed to be my next child's godfather. You're one of my best friends. You're family Logan and family doesn't get to disappear."

"The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I'm a beta and Sebastian took that away tonight. Jen it's okay." He closes his eyes and I shake my head.

"No c'mon." I stand up and I start to drag him back to the house.

"Jen I can't go any further." He leans against a tree and I start to scream.

"Logan I swear to god, if you don't stay standing." I look around but I don't see anyone.

"Sebastian!"

"Bastian! Bash! Someone!"

"Jenifer it's okay."

"No it's not, stop saying it's okay. You're not dying for fucks sake you selfish bitch." I grab onto his shirt.

"What's your favorite color Jenny?"

"It's black you idiot."

"For real this time. What's you're favorite color Jenny." He asks with tears in his eyes and suddenly my life doesn't feel whole.

It feels like a part of me has been ripped away and thrown to the side. It's feels like the sun won't shine as bright anymore and the birds won't sing like they used to.

"It's yellow. It's always been yellow."