Finding Hope

22

Ashley's POV

I knew that when I got my mate it wouldn't always be sunshine and rainbows. I knew that it would often be full of tears or the occasional fight.

I also knew it would hold those beautiful moments where you feel truly at peace and at home with another soul.

I just didn't think that my peaceful and tranquil experience of being mated would turn so disastrous and would end in me alone. I didn't think that Tommy would be ripped away from me so soon.

"It's been a few weeks at most of us being mates. Maybe two months total and you want me to just end that?" Tommy speaks up to Bash as we stand in his office. "You want me to just go off again? When does it stop? When do I get to stop running off and finally keep stationary?" He raises his voice slightly and I reach my hand up to him back to keep him calm but I'm having trouble myself.

"Bash it's a reasonable question to ask." I add and he looks from my mate and back to me.

"Ash, you know these aren't decisions I make easily. They're decisions that have nothing to do with feelings and emotions. They suck to make and I hate to do this to any pairing but Tommy is the best guy for the job. I have to put the security of the pack first."

"And how long is he gonna be gone for?" I take my hand off Tommy's back almost immediately as I stare down my older brother.

"And none of that bullshit either Bash. I want real answers." I add while crossing my arms over my chest.

"Ashley." Jen warns but right now emotions are in the drivers seat. Ration has been thrown from the window and I just want answers because I don't know how I'll function without him here or nearby.

"No she's alright." Bash nods. "She has every right to be upset and to want answers." He stands up from behind his desk and walks around so he's in front of me.

"Tommy go upstairs and grab your things." He orders and just like that my mate follows directions and leaves the office without even a blink.

"You're not even gonna fight it!" I scream after him. "You're not even gonna protest this? Not even a little bit?" I throw my hands up but he doesn't turn back to me.

"Just leave without even looking at me?" I asks in a lower voice but that's mainly because of the crushing heart in my chest.

"Ashley, he's ben trained to do what I say. He's been trained to do this from the day he was born. He's listened to my orders for the past seven years and that's not gonna change because that's his role. It's not a reflection of his love for you." Bash reasons but I turn back to him with tears already falling down my face.

"How long?" I ask and he looks over at Jen.

"My brothers pack has come across an issue." She explains. "His Luna has fallen ill and he's unable to train his new warriors in the way they need to be trained to protect everyone. The rogue issues on the boarder haven't stopped and they really need some better training. If you want anyone to blame you can blame me."

"How long?" I raise my voice louder and she looks down at her hands.

"Three months."

"Three months? That is almost longer than I've known him to be my mate." I put it in perspective for them but I know it's useless. They'll never change their minds because it's just how things work around here.

"Yes in three months he will return but for three months he will be away fixing this issue. He's doing everyone a great service."

"I don't give a shit Bash." I admit. "I just want to know when it stops. When does it stop so I can figure out what to do with my life and decide where I go from here?"

"He holds the title Ash. It doesn't just stop. He chose that he wanted to become one of my best warriors when he was sixteen.  He did and that's wonderful and I owe him for helping me get things under control. He's incredible at his job. I can't just get rid of him."

"So when do I get my happy ending? When do I get my family and when does that family get to all be in the same place at once?"

"Do you know where Garrett is right now?" He retorts and I roll my eyes.

Michelle and I made up but we are no longer the siblings duo we used to be. I mainly avoid her because not a day goes by without her nasty remarks or jabs, and I rather not deal with that. We haven't sat at a table together since that family meal where Jen ran off. That was two weeks ago and we barely made it the whole time without ripping each other's heads off.

"I couldn't care less where that asshat is."

"He's in New York and has been for a month if you haven't noticed." Jen explains while walking over to the filing cabinet behind the desk. I watch as she flips through some files before pulling out a manilla folder and handing it to me. "This is the file we have on what he has to be doing there. He won't be home for a long time and I think you should put that in perspective." She raises her voice slightly. This is honestly the first time the two of us have ever butted heads or disagreed. We usually get along like best friends, but I guess this situation is different. She's not my best friend in this scenario. She's just the Luna of my pack.

"How long?"

"Another five months. We have him acting as a normal civilian so that when this new council gets formed nobody is suspicious of the human boy loitering around."

"Well he's Michelle's mate, they'll notice eventually."

"Nobody outside will believe they are mates until she marks him and your brother refuses to have them mate until she's eighteen. Garrett respects that and Michelle knows it's for the best. Until then he has to appear as a human and we can't do that with him wandering around during these visits from other Alphas."

"It's hard enough hiding Milo from them." Bash adds and I take a deep breath before placing the folder next to him and standing down.

"Three months? That's it right?" I clarify and he nods. "Then in those three months you better get Hudson to start training someone else to be his replacement cause this is my life too."