Finding Hope

23

It's been a month since Bash and I had to make the difficult decision to send Tommy out of our pack and into my brothers pack. It's also been a while since Garrett had to leave. It's gone well for the two of us but it hasn't gone well for Ashley or Michelle.

It's gone horrendously.

Michelle wasn't truly sad at first because she knew that when Garrett returned it'd be the last time we'd send him off for such a long period of time. Of course he'll still help with the art and business side of the pack, but we wouldn't have him in hiding. That was a feeling of comfort for her but it's gotten more difficult. She's tried to interact with Ashley and regain a relationship with her but it failed because Ashley is too busy being even more depressed.

She's fully mated to Tommy and distance isn't easy when you have that full of a connection. It feels like your heart is being pulled from your chest and I would know because that's how I felt when I left Bash to stay with Trev. I felt like I was suffering and that the pain would never go away. Ashley is suffering and I can't help her because the only solution is Tommy being here. I'm starting to worry because instead of just being sad Ashley has turned into a shell of a human. She sleeps all day and cries all night.

"Bastian if she keeps acting like this, I'm not sure we can continue to ignore it."

"She's just sad, I'm sure it'll get better soon." He brushes off my comment and doesn't look up from his paperwork.

"Seriously?" I ask while adjusting Milo who I have sat on my hip. "You seriously think we can ignore it? It's been a month and she's only getting worse."

"We have two of your sisters crying through the night. Newsflash, our one year old doesn't even cry through the night." I snap and he finally looks up.

"Bash I can't ignore it any longer." I lower my voice back to a reasonable volume and he lifts his arms while motioning for me to hand him Milo. I pass her off to him over the table and he sits her in his lap.

"Do you like daddy's shirt?" He asks as her little hands grab at the fabric. "Daddy likes this shirt too cause mommy got it for him."

"Sebastian." I try to get his attention again, but he doesn't give it to me.

"Jen, I hate that my sisters are suffering." He finally speaks up. "I hate it, but without these sacrifices being made my pack will suffer. My pack will suffer and your brothers pack will do the same. We are making a choice that we have to make."

"I'm worried that she's going to go off the deep end Bastian. The fear you had for me when I stopped talking is the fear I have for Ashley and Michelle. Call it a mother's instinct but I'm terrified for them." I explain. "I can't watch them get worse by the day. It's painful to witness and I want them to be okay so please help me make them okay."

"I have a child." He motions down to Milo in his lap.

"Watch yourself buddy." I cross my arms over my chest while realizing this is going to turn into a fight.

"We have a child." He corrects himself and I nod. "You're an amazing mom to our child, but we just aren't the parents to Ashley and Michelle. We can't solve all of the problems that go on in their lives and even if those two were my kids, I wouldn't be able to do that. You know that we can't solve these things and that time is all that will heal their wounds."

"I disagree. They're family and there has gotta be something we can do to make it easier for them. I'm not saying we get Garrett and bring him home or bring Tommy home. I'm just asking for you to make it easier until we get those two back here." I walk closer and I motion to the map that's behind his desk and has always been behind his desk for as long as I've known him.

"Why don't I bring Ashley to visit Tommy for a day? I could take her to my brothers pack. I'll go see my parents and she could see him for a few hours. I'll do the same for Michelle. I can bring her to New York for a day."

"No, how about we don't do that? It's gonna hurt them more to see them for a few minutes and be ripped away again."

"Then give me a better solution." I silence him and he gives up almost immediately while turning his chair and facing the map.

"I have no better solution babe. I have a baby in my lap and no better solution other than to get the two girls and talk them down. We can talk to them and convince them that it's gonna be okay. That's the best I can do."

"Well that's better than nothing you asshole. Why couldn't you suggest that earlier in this conversation?" I ask and he laughs.

"Because baby I'm just as stubborn as you."

"Well baby can we go have this sit down with them? I don't know if I can go another night hearing Ashley cry. Maybe that's because I'm too emotional or whatever, but I can't watch it continue any longer." I walk closer to him and I sit on his desk.

"I love you and I love our baby. Now can we go help the adopted babies since we both know they won't ask your parents for help?" I finish my thought and he nods while placing a hand on my cheek.

We venture upstairs and I see Hudson and Logan sat at the kitchen counter with Ashley surprisingly awake.

"Can you just stop being so bossy? I'm trying to relax and you're not helping that."

"Why do I have to do anything for you?" Ashley snaps back at Logan and I give Bash a warning look.

"Because I need to be calm so that I don't ruin my chance of getting wolf back. You're really killing that vibe."

"Okay no fighting." Bash places Milo on the floor and she starts to waddle over to Hudson.

"Look who decided to walk out of his office." She looks over at her brother and I feel like she's turned into who Michelle was last year.

"Are you okay?" Bash walks closer to her and I stand back watching this unfold. "Let's go talk."

"No I'm not talking to you. You sent my mate away and I hate you."

"He's gonna be back in two months. You made it a month and you're gonna be okay."

"If it's any consolation my mates dead." Logan pipes up and I try my hardest not to laugh at the poor timing. "But I'm still living."

"You died for like a week actually." Ashley turns back to him. "So no, it's not any consolation."

"Well my brother isn't the type to yell at anyone but I am, so I'll step in as proxy for Tommy." Logan claps his hands together. "If anything I'm the bitch whisper and you're being a bitch. Your brother may have come out here to talk nicely, but I'm not awfully nice so I'm just gonna say it. You can't do this. You can't snap at everyone and cry all the time because in all honesty there are so many she wolves who are without their mates. You aren't the only one who had to say goodbye to their mate for a few months. You're not special and your attitude sucks."

"Ashley we just can't allow it to go on. Tommy wouldn't want you doing this and if anything the crying and the pain only gets worse if you keep thinking about it. The more you cry the harder it's going to be to stop. The same goes for Michelle and we'll have the same talk with her. For now, it's time to focus on you so please can we try to break this cycle?" Sebastian asks her and she looks from him to Logan.

"You're right. Tommy wouldn't ever talk to me like that. Your brother is a much better man than you are."

"No, you have too hard of a time being logical. You need to think of the bigger picture. He's home in two months and I doubt he'll want to see you looking this way. You got two months to prepare and to get it together Ash. You're family and I need you to chill out." Hudson finally adds into the conversation. Usually he's calm and very careful with his delivery but this time he's stating exactly what he thinks.

"I'll stop crying when he's home. Thanks for your sympathy." She grabs her cup from the counter and starts to leave the kitchen but not before stopping in front of me. "And to think you'd be understanding of everything. Thanks a lot Jen."

"That's not true." I call after her but it's no such luck. I was right to be hesitant about being Luna. It's the hardest thing I've ever done and I can't see it getting any easy. For now all I need is for everyone to make it through these next two months.

It's just two months.