Finding Hope

25

"I heard what happened yesterday." A voice startles me from behind and I turn to see Ashley standing in the doorway to the walk in closet. "Did those guys actually do what Logan said they did?" She asks and I nod.

"Well if you need any help giving her the proper burial again I'll help." She adds and I turn around fully. This is the first time she has uttered a word to me in the past four weeks. Ever since our kitchen confrontation we've gone quiet and we haven't had a conversation. In fact I was sure I wouldn't hear her speak until Tommy got home but since that's not for another two weeks I guess I'm in for a treat.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure how to go about this right now. I want them to be punished and to do right by her, but at the same time I don't want them having any hand in her burial after what they did." I open up to her as I normally would. "I'm glad your brother has me handling this, but I don't know what is truly the right option. I'm going to have to figure it out once I get down to where Hudson has them."

"I'm sure you'll make it work." She offers one last kind smile before hesitantly backing up and leaving the room. It's a shame that this is how we talk to each other and will most likely continue to talk to each other until Tommy returns. For now the only truly awful conversations I need to focus on, are the ones between me and the teenager warriors in this pack.

My walk to the training facility is filled with my brain running through all the possible lectures I might give as it also runs through any possible issues that could occur today. I don't know which of these possible outcomes will end up coming to fruition, but I know that I'll have at least some trouble with William.

"They still going?" I ask Hudson as I stare at the group of boys running up and down the field.

"For the past two hours. They'll probably crash any minute now." He explains and I nod while waiting for the inevitable to happen. "How are you though?" I receive a follow up question and I try to think of how to answer. I'm okay but I'm just processing a lot especially now that I'm having to finally step up into the role of Luna. I'm finally having to fulfill the role as it was intended and it's intimidating for me.

"I'm running on minimal sleep and Sebastian is currently having his bonding time with Milo. He's teaching her how to put on her own socks and shoes." I let out a small laugh and he smiles. "I'm really happy right now, but all I can think about is the possibility that I'm not meant to handle these things. I feel like it's possible that somehow I'm meant to just be the stay at home Luna. I know it's stupid, but I feel bad handling this because clearly these boys don't want to listen to me."

"Well they don't have a say in that stuff. You were born to an Alpha and have Alpha blood. You're more capable than you think you are. Sebastians mom was not a daughter to an Alpha and she had to fight tooth and nail to get the respect she deserved but she got it. She got the respect and she did incredible things for this pack and her family. You're doing the same." He crosses his arms over his chest and looks down at me with sadness. "You need to realize that on your own and for some reason you haven't."

"Because I've spent more than half of my time here doing things wrong." I laugh and he pulls me underneath his arm. "It's true Hudson. The only thing I've done right is Milo and even that has gotten messy from time to time. I'm good at being a mom."

"Think of this as being mom of the pack. You're a wonderful mother to Milo and you're doing a great with the pack as a whole. Think of this as more children. These ones specifically are evil spawns who look like their legs are going to crumble from beneath them any moment now." He points to the goon squad and I nod.

"Well as mother of the pack I feel some sympathy considering they've been running for so long."

"It's you decision." He takes his arm from around me and I smile. "Trust your gut." He adds with a smile in return.

"Stop!" I call out at the group of five. "You can all stop." I give out the order and they all instantly drop to the ground. I watch as the once tough group of teen boys admits defeat and crumbles.

"Today you ran this course as much as you did because of your actions last night. This pain you feel now, is excruciating, but let it be a reminder of what will happen the next time you disobey the orders of your Alpha. Let this be a reminder that your Alpha won't always be the one picking the punishment either and that I'll choose what I deem fit and that too is not up for discussion. I'm your Luna and I want what is best for this pack and I also want what's best for you individually. If you cannot push past the beliefs you have, in your heads, when it comes to how this pack runs then you're not meant to be warriors. It doesn't make you lesser wolves, but it makes you more fit for another position." I walk closer to them as they cling to the ground desperately.

"I don't blame you for having questions or wondering. I did the same thing when I arrived here. I wondered what your Alpha did and how he did it, but I learned to be okay with not knowing everything. There's also been times where I've stepped out of line and did stupid things in my old pack too and trust me I wish someone gave me reasons for the punishment I received. That's why I'm giving all of you the explanation. Maybe you hate me for it and are tuning me out, but either way I'll give it to you."

"That witch meant a lot to me for reasons that are none of your concern. I agree that some of her actions were wrong, but if there's one thing you learn when you grow up, it's that not everything is black and white; things won't always make sense. The witch you dug up was properly buried by your Alpha himself and it was a decision that was made after long consideration."

"Now stand up." I order and a few of them doing it immediately with shaky legs but it takes William the longest. He keeps his hands planted on the ground in front of him and keeps his head down as well.

"Hudson take the standing boys and bring them inside." I point to the training facility and I can see fear on his face.

"I'm not leaving you with him. He's a loose canon." He mind links me and I shake my head.

"He won't lay a finger on me if he wants to see the light of day." I remind him through our link and he finally caves and walks away.

"William I'm not sure if you're in pain and physically cannot stand or if you're disobeying orders so please talk."

"Did Hudson tell you?" He sneers while finally making eye contact with me. "Did he tell you that I got a nice beating from the others before we started? I'm sure he noticed them using me as a punching bag before we started."

"No he did not. I wasn't aware of that and I don't agree with that course of action. Would you mind having a civil conversation with me? We clearly got off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I'm sure we can talk and get to the bottom of this." I squat down to his level and he shakes his head while trying to stand up. I watch as he arm gives out and his chest hits the ground.

"I will wait here William. I will wait here with you until you can stand, but I'm sure that if we talk the time will pass quicker." I decide to plant myself down and he rolls his eyes at my actions.

"Oh don't worry son, I have all day."