Finding Hope

29

"You're just mad that you haven't had sex in a while." Logan shouts at me as I pack up my suitcase for the council meeting.

He's gotten increasingly ballsy in the past few days.

"You got your wolf back and you wanna use that tone with me? You want me to remind you who your boss is? Who decides what you get stuck doing?" I raise a brow and he holds up his hands in defense. "Don't bring up my sex life."

"What sex life? Last time I checked y'all don't fuck." He taunts and I go to lunge at him but he dodges me. "Oh you can't hide the desperation from me Jenny. I know you guys didn't have any fun time on that weekend getaway and I know you're avoiding the subject."

"What happened to having a good wholesome family relationship between the two of us? What happened to you not talking about my sex life?"

"Again you don't have one, but I'll play along." He continues to smirk at me and I walk over to my bedroom door before motioning for him to exit.

"Do you want me to play along?" He asks and I resist the urge to punt him into the next backyard. "Jen I've been out of it for months, just talk to me."

"Even before you lost your wolf I never told you details about my sex life. You didn't miss out on anything."

"That's because you guys slept together once and ended up with Milo. Last time I checked you haven't slept with him since right?" With those last words from him I shut the bedroom door and I walk back over to him. I continue to pack up the last bits of clothing and he keeps his mouth shut.

The most annoying part of this all is that he's sort of right. I haven't slept with him since before the death of the council. And before that we hadn't slept with each other since the day we made Milo. That night was followed by an awful fight which ended in me having a child. I don't know how we haven't done anything since and I don't want to question it because if I start to think about it, it just hurts. It makes me worried that I'm not a good mate and it also makes me wonder why he hasn't initiated anything.

I've thought about it sometimes when it's late at night and my mind drifts. It drifts to every worry and insecurity and usually that's the most prominent worry right next to Milos safety.

"So once this council business is through are you going to? Cause Bash is kind of an angry asshole and I think he needs a good lay."

"Well are you offering be his good lay? Or to watch Milo for me so I can go get railed in some cabin at the edge of our territory?" I close my suitcase with force and he looks shocked that I've said anything in return to his stupid nagging comments.

"That's the spirit Jen, but no I would never watch her during this stage. Hudson's your guy for that."

"Then don't ask me again when I'll be having sex. Cause trust me he's not the only one who needs a good lay."

As much as I'm sure Sebastian is dying inside with this whole almost two years of not sleeping together, I'm dying even more. Every time we are alone something comes up and every time we get even close to initiating something Milo either cries or needs something.

Plus you can't forget the whole nine months of pregnancy followed by chaos of having a daughter. I also can't forget the part where Sebastian eliminates a council and left me in a depressive state once I found out how many warriors died to protect me and my family. Or the depressive episode after I lost what would have been our second child.

It was only after those episodes were over that I even started to think about sex with Sebastian again. I couldn't imagine focusing on something other than keeping Milo safe.
Unfortunately that's been a trend ever since and there's been too much going on to even catch a break here at this house.