~ Chapter 41 ~

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My eyelids were puffy and hard to move. Come to think about it my entire face is stiff. The good news is that it only aches when I touch it.

I stayed on the hard lawnchair for a long time after I was fully up. I have no desire to move. I'm not even staring at anything in particular. My eyes just zoned out and my mind followed. I'm not thinking anything in particular either.

I slowly move to sit up. My bruised side making itself very aware. I could only manage to take slow, deep breaths.

"Are you hungry?"

I didn't move to respond. However, I wasn't hungry. The thought of food made me sick. I don't want to move. I don't want to eat. I don't want to think or see. I want nothing.

He placed his hand on my back. Taking the other to lift under my legs. In seconds, he was holding me bridal style and carrying me up the stairs. I let him. Why? Because it feels nice to be held.

He placed me lightly on a soft bed. His eyes gazed over me, looking for any sign of discomfort. He then moved to take off my shoes. His eyes were light when the looked into mine. He was just as drained as I was.

I couldn't help myself. I reached to touch his cheek. My gaze softened as I looked at the boy that kneeled in front of me. He took my hand from his cheek and tangled it with his. Leaving a light kiss on my knuckles.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I couldn't speak, but I moved to mouth the words: I know.

He moved behind me on the bed, so that his back was leaning against the headboard. Pulling me in his lap, he rocked me back and forth. It was a gentle motion. One that almost brought me into another fit of tears.

He is so gentle with me - so careful.

"My mother died when I was very little. I still don't know the cause. Whenever I would ask, my father would become completely irate," He begins.

I listen to him with my head on his chest.

"I can only ever remember my father as a drunk. However, he was a high-functioning alcoholic. Well, that was before he lost his job,"

"He became a mean drunk then. He'd come home every night to hit me with something. I was about twelve when I started to fight back."

I sat up slightly, finally looking dead in his eyes.

"The details aren't important, but the night I finally ran away was one of the worst beatings I'd ever gotten from him," He takes my hand in his. "I hit my old man so hard it took him to the ground. I was scared they were going to send me to juvie again or something, so I ran,"

Again?

"The boys and I had talked about running away many times before and when I finally did it I knocked on every single one of their doors and they were all down. Those boys are my family. Every single one of them,"

It was my turn to hold him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on to him tight. For a moment, I thought to myself. I have been so consumed with my own life. Maybe I scared myself - maybe it was me that had been neglecting him.

For that, I am sorry

"I'll leave it to them to tell you their stories, but none of us have had great lives. I used to sleep on benches with those boys and now at least we have a home. Athena's father is one of the main reasons for that,"

"As much as I hate to admit it." He grunts under his breath.

I love this boy so much. It was at this moment, strangely, that I realized it. His being in front of me vulnerable, helps me understand my feelings.

However, clarity was the only thing I didn't gain from my revelation. I love Axel Stone, now what? I still have the same problems and to add on top of that I'm still very much upset with him and his friends.

"It hurts?" It was a rhetorical question, "After all this time it still hurts?"

"Parents are supposed to be the first people to love you and when they're not it messes everything up," I explain to him lightly. He looks at me.

"That's what you fight for. The money is for them - the first people to show you love,"

He gives me a frown.

"Houses cost money and they love you, Axel," I clarify.

"You're right,"

"I know."

I searched his face and expression for a feeling. I could understand Axel when he didn't put up his facade. He was allowing me to look at him - to see him.

"I see you, Axel, there's nothing wrong with seeing you," I recall the words he said to me weeks earlier.

"About the fight, the man I'm fighting is known to be very aggressive. He's going to be a tough one,"

I nod slowly, "They're afraid of you getting seriously hurt,"

He nods.

"But you guys need the money,"

He nods again.

I sat back, now looking away from him. I still got the feeling that he wasn't telling me the whole truth. It just doesn't make sense. He's fought large dudes before, there has to be something special about the one coming up.

I also get the impression that I'm not going to find out the whole truth, so I'm leaving the questions unasked for now.

"That's it?"

I moved my gaze to him, "That's your family, you're going to do whatever you need to do to make sure they're good."

- no matter what I tell you

The thought crossed my mind. It was selfish and that's why I kept it to myself. If I told him that I didn't like the idea of him fighting, he would still do it anyway. The situation wasn't going to change. Axel had his mind set and nothing was going to change it.

"You're not going to talk me out of it?"

"Can I?" I stood up from the bed. "Would you listen?"

"Yes,"

"Then don't do it,"

"Victor-"

"See," I interrupt him, "Just do what you're going to do,"

A flick in the window caught my attention. It was quick but dark. Seconds later my phone rings. The calls are back to back as both Axel and I stare at it. I shifted my gaze to look at him just to see his eyes already set on mine.

Father

The cold words sat at the top of the screen. I didn't even blink. I knew exactly why he was calling. I'm sure anyone would. Although I knew the reason, I didn't how he was going to respond. 

Axel took the phone and cut it off. I didn't move to stop him.

"Everybody is at school," He shifts the subject completely, "I wanted you to stay home today,"

I just looked at him.

"You can go to school tomorrow if you choose,"

"Are you still going to fight?"

"I'm not going to leave your side today. We can stay in this room, go for a ride. Anything you want, but I'm staying,"

I scoff, "Is that a yes?"

His eyes were still light, pleading to say something. I wish he would just push whatever he was thinking out of his mind and through his mouth. This is what I'm talking about. I was just in his arms and now we're arguing.

I sigh deeply, "You better win and walk out of that ring, Axel."

He gave me a look.

"I'm serious, I'm upset with you but I would hate myself if you got seriously injured out there,"

"Don't worry about me, Doll, I'll be fine."

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