The Earl's Young Bride and Their Siblings (completed)

Chapter Thirty-One: Her Heartfelt Apology

For the past hour, Charlotte sat in her room staring at her ceiling, while she examined her behavior with Radley as well as her feelings for him. Her mother had taught her that the rules were to protect her innocence. That a man should never have the freedom to become intimate until after marriage. Otherwise, he would not want her for a wife.

Radley had pursued her as if he intended to ruin her. Yet, Ben trusted him. Truly trusted him not to dishonor her by such disrespectful means. Even though his kisses made her forget that. The other night if they had been alone, and she could have done as she wished, she would not have stopped him. He made her needy in places she hadn't been aware of before. She ached between her legs and squeezed them together to ease the sensation.

Now she knew why. The drawing in that book had her fantasizing about Radley and the same need came upon her. She wanted to explain to him why she shoved him away when she wanted to tell him to do something to help her.

There were times she saw her parents kissing when they didn't know they weren't alone, but Radley didn't seem to care who was around.

She paused with that thought because he had been reserved in front of Ruth.

From the moment she took his horse, he had played a game with her. He'd laughed at her antics, laughed at her rules, but frowned whenever she had pushed him away. How was she supposed to act? For that matter, how did she want to react?

Each time he'd offered his arm, she had taken it. He had acted possessive when Dalton Hudson had been introduced and she was pleased even though Dalton had shown interest in her.

Did she want to meet other men, or did she want to spend the rest of her life with Radley? That answer came quickly. Her heart ached as if her life would never be the same without him. But how would she convince him of that?

Perhaps when she saw him again at Kensingdale. By then perhaps he would talk more reasonably with her. He would have to go, wouldn't he? Father would want to have a party to celebrate Ben's marriage.

But what if he wouldn't speak to her? Would he disappoint Vivian by not coming? She didn't think so. Her mother could give her some advice... except it was her advice that set them apart.

She thought about everything he said about wanting a woman who loved him for who he was, and the tears began falling again. If he had treated her in such a way she would have pounded on his chest and screamed at him for confusing her.

That's what he'd done without raising his voice. He told her exactly what he wanted and why he didn't think she cared for him. It had been her fault. If she wanted him, she had to fight for him. Prove she loved him and accepted him as he was.

She couldn't go to Whites and demand he come out and speak with her... but he would go home, wouldn't he? No, Michael said he had women who would welcome him. She had to talk to him before he had a chance to do that.

A knock on her bedroom door disrupted her thoughts and she looked to see Owen enter. His expression was serious.

"I've waited for you to calm down. Michael laid out what you must do if you realize the mistakes you've made with Radley..." For the next ten minutes, he repeated what he'd been told.

She cried tears of shame that they had felt the same as Radley. If she needed to humble herself to get him back, she would. Owen didn't give advice; he just gave her the message for her to choose what future she wanted and then left. Determined to follow Michael's advice, she changed into a riding skirt, washed her swollen face from the tears, and then went to speak with Owen and tell him her plan.

At the bottom of the stairs, she heard the door knocker and saw Earnest answer the door. He received a note and set it down on a silver tray sitting atop a table near the door. Before he had a chance to pick up the tray, she snatched up the note and saw Michael's seal.