Just For Tonight

I've Got You.

"Carry on, outlast the ignorance. Moving on, survive the innocence, And it won't be long, won't be long, won't be long. You know it's gonna get better, you know it's gonna get better."

Christian~

Sitting back in my chair, my stomach sinks, hearing her say her last memory is with Kacey. What does that even mean? Was she dreaming about Kacey? Is that what happened? What does she mean that it felt as real as anything? 

"I guess," Ashtyn starts again, shaking her head slightly, "I think the last thing I remember, that's actually real, is being at work. I'd had a meeting with Make-a-Wish." 

"That would've been three days before," Alex says, trailing off, not sure what to say beyond that. So she doesn't remember breaking things off, not really anyways if she does. That's another bridge we'll have to cross another day. 

Dr.Lindor nods, "Alright. I must say that you're very lucky, Ashtyn. You've managed to get just about the best-case scenario for someone in your situation. There's a lot of work still that has to be done but, things look good already." Ashtyn nods, "Are you ready to answer a couple more questions? We can ask Christian and Alex to leave if you'd like, however when it comes to substance abuse, it's better most of the time to have people in your life that care about you know the full story." 

Ashtyn's eyes look to me, and then Alex. They're filled with sorrow and almost pain behind them. She looks down before nodding, "Is cocaine the only drug you've used recreationally?" Ashtyn nods. "How long have you been using?" 

"Two, maybe three, weeks," Ashtyn replies, her voice quieter than before. This time it's because of how she feels rather than it being weak. So, she's only been using for about three weeks. What do I even make of that? It doesn't answer anything for me on what's been real between us these past few weeks. Thinking back, I try to put a timeline together. Two-three weeks ago. Would that have been the night her and Nat went out? 

"Was that when you and Nat went out?" I ask, looking at Ashtyn. That would've been the first time we'd had sex aside from when we met too. Ash looks to me, more pained than anything, as she nods. Something tells me that was more of the cokes doing than Ashtyns. Nodding to myself, I lean back again. I'd blamed the alcohol then, given how I'd found her in the kitchen. We'd had sex since then, though. What was I supposed to think? Unless that had less to do with us, and more to do with that. . . I should've picked up on that. 

"How often would you say you were doing it?" 

Ashtyn shakes her head, "As often as I had access to it. I was doing a bump, at least, every few hours." Jesus. 

"And how consistent was that?" Dr.Lindor asks, glancing at the laptop Kiana is charting on.

"Every day since I started. The day of the meeting, I remember only having about one bump left. Ashleigh hadn't responded since the day before." I can only assume Ashleigh is who was supplying her. 

"Ashleigh being your dealer, right?" Dr.Lindor asks. Ashtyn nods. "How did you meet her?"

"In the bathroom of a club I'd gone to with Nat," Ash replies, glancing at the water again. Kiana notices and helps Ashtyn out. 

"How often would did you see her?" 

"Twice, maybe," she answers, unsure. "I'd assume I didn't end up in here off of the bump I'd had left." 

Dr.Lindor shakes his head, "No, probably not. Especially if you'd been taking it as actively as you say for the amount of time you had been." Ashtyn nods, "Alright, we'll let you get some rest now. We'll check back in in a little while."