Just For Tonight

A Hundred and Six.

Fuck Marcell Ozuna.

"Cause you left your heart in LA. You left your mind in Paris. Traded emotions in for cocaine. Maybe it's right, but just the wrong time. Maybe love's something you won't find. You've been searching for a long time. Now you wanna move on with your life."

Ashtyn~

"Can we talk?" Christian asks, rubbing the palm of his hand nervously. Nodding, I sit up and leave him space on the couch in front of me. "How are you feeling, for starters?" 

Shrugging, I nod, "Okay, I guess, all things considered. I'm not sure how I should feel knowing how badly I've fucked everything up." No point in not being honest anymore. My big secret is out, and I know how disappointed everyone is, regardless of how hard they're trying to hide it. "Getting to go home tomorrow feels good." 

"I can imagine," he replies with a small smile. That doesn't last, as his face falls. "What are you thinking in terms of home?" 

Furrowing my eyebrows a little, I look at him, "What do you mean?" 

Christian nods a little before answering, "I mean, are you planning on coming back to our house, or were you thinking about going to the apartment with Alex?" 

Is that really the question? Why? "Why wouldn't I come back to our house?"

Christian sighs and runs his hand through his hair, obviously anxious over whatever this is. "That's right, you don't remember the last three days before you were in here." 

"I'm sorry," I answer, not really sure what else I'm supposed to say right now. I'm frustrated too. I should be able to fill those gaps in, but I just can't. 

"No," Christian replies, shaking his head, "I'm not faulting you for that. It's just making this conversation harder." I nod a little, leaning forward and taking Christians' hand. He chuckles a little, "The funny thing is, I know you're trying to help by doing that, but it only makes me have that many more questions." 

"Oh?" I ask confused, I'm about to take my hand away when he holds it in his. 

Christian looks at our hands and smiles before shaking his head, looking up to me,  "Where do you stand when it comes to our relationship?"

Furrowing my eyebrows, I shake my head. "What do you mean?" I ask. Honestly, I have no idea anymore. Before all of this, I feel like I had a grasp on how I felt. Now, I'm not so sure. Christian looks almost exasperated due to my confusion over his concern. I feel like he's not telling me something. "Whatever you wanna say, or that you're not telling me, it's okay. You can say it, I'll be okay." 

"Ash," Christian starts, "I left for spring training the day before you ended up in here." Okay? "The next morning, you texted me saying the only reason that we were together was because of Kacey. That you didn't see the point anymore now that she was gone and that you wanted to break up with me. You'd also mentioned not being happy." Looking down, I shake my head, wow my head was messed up. 

"I did that over a text message?" I ask, now I've done some shitty things, but that one is pretty high up there.

Christian chuckles, "Yeah, you did. That messed with me pretty bad. I got ejected in my first at-bat arguing with the umpire." 

Shaking my head, I almost smile a little at the thought, not something you'd expect to see from him. "I'm sorry," I tell him. "I really wish I could tell you what was going on in my head when I sent that. Right now, I'm even wishing I could even remember doing it." 

"That'd probably make all of this easier," Christian laughs. His smile falls a little as he gets serious again, "But Ash, if you don't want this, truthfully, I don't want you to feel like you have to stay."